Monday, December 28, 2009

Has Santa Got Commercialized?

So Santa has come and went. Did you get all that you expected, or were you on his naughty list and he gave you a lump of coal and a cold potato? Well I guess the old ape flew under his radar this year and was still on his good list, as usual I made out like a bandit! How Christmas has changed from yesteryear? Now I feel I am a very a spiritual person, and there is a message attached with Christmas hence forth the first part of Christmas being Christ. Now whether you believe or not you can still feel that Christmas is about family and kids. Getting together with family have a great reason to have a great meal, and one more reason to spoil your kids and or grand kids rotten. Well that is my point I think the message as been lost on this festive time. We all except that certain jobs like essential services have to work on this day. For example Fire fighters, police personnel, Hospital staff should be on this list! As we headed back home on boxing day all full of turkey and wonderment we pulled into a McDonald's before we headed home to scarf down a burger before we head for the open road. To my wife's astonishment McDonald's was open from 10AM to 5PM on Christmas day. My wife comes back to the vehicle in total disbelief for a burger joint to be open on turkey day. My wife says unless they started serving turkey burgers who wants a Big Mac on Christmas day?

Now I explained to her which she already knew the Jehovah Witness religion does not recognize Christmas as they do not believe in Christ or God. She still felt that was not reason enough to serve a Big Mac's on Christmas day. She asked in disbelief who operates this place scrooge himself?AGH!!! Now that brings me to my next point have we lost the point in today's message? Christmas is not about family and fellowship anymore. It is about one of the biggest money making holiday's of the year. Look at boxing day it is an absolute free for all on boxing day as to what can we buy on the cheap for us the greedy little consumers that we are. Back in the day Boxing day was designed for you to return uncle Fred's pink blender that you would have no use for, and get something you really wanted. Now it is a message of shop till you drop and what great deals can we get? I have heard some families even make it an annual event, and do their Christmas shopping on that day when everything is so cheap, and then actually celebrate their own Christmas on the 27th ot 28th. Who do we have to blame for this, the retailer or the consumer? Well without the consumer asking for this or expecting this the retailer is only following the market trend.

Now if you look at the history of the bible Jesus was born depending on the interpretation you except. Some say in the spring around March others think he was born in September, but winter is actually a Pagan holiday noting the time of winter solstice of December 22nd. None the less others say it is a business idea of the end of the year and shop keepers are giving it one last ditch effort to boost the yearly sales before the new year starts.

So is society losing the Christ in Christmas and just going to the commercialization of the holiday? Like I said before I am not a holy roller by any means, but I do think that Christmas is about kids and family with gift giving intertwined in the holiday. It should be not who got what, and how much you can break the bank to keep up with the Jones. With credit cards being so free these days people almost make it a game in some cases to see who can out spend the other just because they can. I ask the question because that person bought me a Rolex make them any better person then if they could only afford a Timex? Is it not about the fact that they were considerate enough to see that I may need or want a watch rather then how much it cost. Some people live on a beer budgets all year so they can have a champagne lifestyle for one day in the year. Personally I would I think that is wrong. As we get over a record setting recession the people who are in banking warn people to live within their means or come the new year we could be in for a whole world of hurt when the bills roll in! Why take till the holidays text year to pay for this Christmas, be inventive. Some call it cheap. I call it thinking outside the box. Make something that you know the person would like. I think gifts like this are better because they show the person you were thinking enough to share your craft with them. If you are not crafty, try making a card inviting the person out to dinner or better yet over to your house cooking them their favorite meal. Go on-line there are many ideas far beyound these few to get your creative juices going. Just remember it is not the price of the gift it is about that fact you thought about them at all.

Well I am going to cuddle up and nurse this cold I got as a gift on Christmas day. Personally that is one gift I would rather take back from the wife. See our generosity is so big here we even give each other our colds. Share and Share alike my Mother used to say. Lol

Until next time remember happiness depends on ourselves.
Happy New Year to all my readers From The Ape Trainer and the crusty old ape may 2010 be all that you wish for!

Cheers From
The Old Ape :-)

Monday, December 21, 2009

So What Is Happening In The Jungle?

So tell me oh wise one what has been happening in the jungle that has kept you away for so long? Well folks believe it or not the old ape has got busy. We are proud to announce that there has been a new addition added to our pack so that is where some of my time has been going. You know daddy time and outings outside. Also I have been busy at the production company. I had just completed a project with great success. My first run with one of my new pieces of software, so it was a bit trying as it was a learning curve, but none the less we did a bang up job and the customer was more then happy so on all accounts Big Ape Productions is now going to move forward. I have already got another job lined up for the new year. Amazingly enough I have just scored a line on another photographer that is willing to promote our VHS to DVD and Slide show production work. So if you ever need a good photo studio go check out SC Photos and they will take care of you for sure.

The weight loss you are wondering... how is the weight loss going well no news is good news. I have been hovering off and with a 1.5KG gain and loss so I consider that as a plateau so in all perspectives, I am hanging in there considering what time of year it is.

So with my Christmas shopping complete and travel plans finalized we are officially ready for the festive season. We are heading up to my sisters Christmas Morning spend the day with her and my Brother-in-law in Brooks, and then home boxing day to get ready for Mel to return back to work Sunday. No rest for the weary they

Here is a couple of pictures of our new addition. Her name is Libby. She is a retired breeder dog. She is 7 years old and the kennel we acquired her from was looking for a for ever home for her in her retirement. She is an absolute sweet heart as you will see.

Well time waits for no one. It is my time to get back to a few final things getting ready for the old boy with the white beard. Enough out of the peanut gallery I only have a goatee..hehehehehehe Anyway we will send Christmas wishes a bit later until then.....

Remember Santa only comes once a year, aren't you glad you are not him.....

Until next time
From the big ape

Sunday, November 8, 2009

I'm Back!!!! Just when you thought it was safe to enter the Jungle ....

Well I would like to start off and thank everyone who sent well wishes to Mel and I. It is nice to know that we are in your thoughts and prayers during times like this. One does not really understand until you have times like these how much you are loved. It seems like at least once a year I have to test the health care system just to see if it is running smoothly. Well I am proud to report for the most part it is limping along the best it can. I do want to say that I stress MOST of the nurses are wonderful. If they had to deal with a crusty old ape like me, and stay smiling they must have been true angels. Now the Doctors on the other hand they were only batting 500. I had a couple that were great, but I seen a couple I would not send across enemy lines just because I would feel sorry for the care the enemy would get. I am the first to say the system is broken, but for the most part the front line staff is doing the best they can. I do stress that we all need to lobby our local politicians and tell them they need to fix the health care system. As I can say it is broken I think beyond total repair. I will say it once I will say it 100 times, we need to model our system over in Sweden. That is a system that works and that is a mix of public and private. So when you are told that privatization is a bad thing take a look around, and see that private is already here. It just needs to be managed better. That is for another post though. Maybe I will add a suplemental post later. Anyway lets talk abought what we had directed this blog to be as of late a tracking device for my weight loss experiece.

Well you ask how is the whole experience going now that I have been sick and in hospital? Well are you sitting down I am 42 pounds lighter then when we first talked. Now I am a realist and know I will probaly gain a few pounds back just because the last 5 days in the hospital I was on a liquid diet. Hence that is why I had made a post in facebook celibrating my love for So what was wrong with me to result in 5 days of a liquid diet?

Well lets talk about the symptoms before we get to what was wrong with me. I had been hemoraging, and passing blood off and on for a couple of weeks. Now all sorts of things come to mind at least with the old ape anyway as to what this could be. Hemroids are the first thing. The second choice would have been my diverticulites.(I am not sure that is spelt right, but I think I am close) For you who does not know what that is it is in the family of IBS (irratable bowel sysdrome). Now it was off and on, but towards the end it was on more then off and it was looking like small farm animals were getting butured. So I let that go on for about 3 days and generally feeling crappy before I thought it might be time to go visit my emergency room. No the topping symptom was and this was the one I was more concerned with was I lost my left side of my face. My left eye was running consistantly and I was drooling at bit. Now what comes to mind was possably a slight stroke. I did not have any other symptoms. Head ache, weakness, trouble talking, confusion. Well other then the run of a mill of the fact of my usual ape confuson, the fact I talk like a monkey so there was nothing to worry about there, I never had a head ache and I am always in pain so really I am not sure if I would notice if anything was out of the norm anyway. Just to add icing on the cake my doctor does not practice in the city I live. Now you say you dumb ape with your medical problems why do you have a Dr. out of town of your residence, Because I could not get a Dr. in Medicine Hat after my Dr. that I did have lost his licence, and moved away. That is a story all on itself for another day. So I figured instead of going to my Dr. in Brooks 65 miles away from my home, and him panicing and sending me back to Medicine Hat hospital (it is a bigger hospital) I would just show up, and get the Dr. of the day, and see where that took me.

So now that we have all the interesting little details out of the way what as there results on their fact finding mission you ask? Well it turned out to be a bowel blockage, and the numbness in the face was something that I had heard the term, but knew nothing about. It was bells palsey. It is a fancy name for an infection in the facial nerves. Now HOW I contracted that is beyond me. They say it can be caused by cold sores, but I did not have a cold sore so the good lord only nows. So I am on some strong antibiotics for that. Now the blockage you ask, what did they do there? Well four bowel cleansers, and 3 1 liter enemas later I was back on the road, and clean as a whistle. Now the interesting part of this whole experience was the Colonoscopy that I had. Now they say they are not the most comfortable thing to indure. Basicly what they do is they go in the back door, and run your whole intestinal track right to the stomach enterance with a camera and light. It gives whole new meaning to going in a tight end and coming out a wide So they give me a shot in my interevenous and tell me that I should start to feel sleepy in a few minutes, and by the time of the procedure you may not be asleep, but are stoned enough to make it that you don't care what they are doing, or where they are going. Now keep in mind they gave me 100ml of what ever the drug was. Now for a averge person that would be enough to send them to pluto. I am thinking for an ape of my size it should have been about 3X that amount. Oh well what do I know!!! You have to understand I am a big gorilla obviously they never consulted the local vet as to how much to give an ape as 100ml never even made me goofy let alone sleepy. So about half way though the proceedure I looked over my shoulder and said to the Dr. I thought I was supposed to be asleep for this? He and his assitant praised me and kept on traveling saying they were about half way done. I thought I would have some fun and ask him if he could write me a note explaining to my wife that he did not find my head up there. He had a sence of humor though as he did say he come across a set of keys and wondered if I lost a He was a funny guy!!! NOT!!!! Anyway the procedure finished with the doctor saying my intestinal tract was pretty inflamed from the blockage, and he could see where it had been bleeding. All looked well know so he felt that I could recoup at home. Well you did not have to tell me twice I was out of there Thursday afternoon at about 4:30pm a week ago. I as told to just relax and let myself build up slowly.

Well I have done what the Dr. suggested rest and relaxation. I must admit that is all I felt like doing between the blood loss, and the infection it set the old ape on his butt! Now I am slowly starting to feel like the old ape again. I am afraid that now that I am back on food I might have gain a few pounds back, but I hope this is still a continued trail forward.

Remember life can be dramatic, and funny all in the same day!

Until next time keep smiling

From The Big Ape :-)

Monday, October 12, 2009

I Have A Test Before Me

Well I sit here typing this and watching the Turkey Bowl. Having a life style change and approaching the holidays is going to be true test. Thanksgiving in my old world was just a warm up for the Christmas season. Well I am hoping that is not the case this year. I have not been perfect to say the least, but I have been better then in previous years. Some thing that my wife and I did is change the size of our dinner plates. When I was away at my training session we learned back in the day. I know this makes me sound really old. Back in the 70's the dinner plates were being made 6 to 8 inches in diameter. Now in the super size craze the plates have grown 10 to 12 inches. So when we were loading up before you can appreciate how much more we were getting with that extra 2 inches. Also if you went back for seconds well that much more again. So now that we turned to the about 8 inch plate it is less that you are ingesting even if you did go back for seconds.

Have freezer will benefit! This is day number two it is time to bless the freezer with a donation. I marvel at this idea as our freezer never was blessed with such a deposit in the past. We ate like kings, and never left to many morsels for the fridge monster either.

A friend of mine sent me this the other day. Reading stories like this gives me strength to know that I am not the only one have to fight this battle, and know it can be done as long as I am consistent. I have one up on this gentleman I have not had the heart attack....yet anyway.

Name: Keith Ahrens

Age: 47

Height: 5 feet 10 inches

Before weight: 414

How I gained it: I ha d followed a no-exercise, sedentary lifestyle for many years. I was troubled with weight as an adolescent but became more fit in my college years. After graduating college, I began to put on the pounds. I ate whatever I wanted, in whatever quantities I wanted. Most of the time, the food choices were high in fat, sugar and carbs. The food choices I made were of little regard or complete disregard to their nutritional content. I had dieted on and off for 23 years, only to relapse and put on more weight each time.

Breaking point: At the age of 45, I weighed more than 414 pounds and suffered a remote silent heart attack that resulted in open-heart coronary artery bypass surgery. After surviving this critical surgery, I invested all of my efforts into getting healthy and losing weight without surgery. It took a life-or-death crisis for me to realize how important it is to make healthy choices.

How I lost it: I had to admit to myself that I had a problem with food and was a compulsive overeater. I had to rid myself of the old emotions that caused me to overeat. Stress and anxiety were the typical triggers.

Losing weight for me has been a by-product of a healthy eating lifestyle combined with a good and active physical fitness program. Remember, there are 1,440 minutes in each day, and that would ultimately mean I work on a healthy lifestyle for 1,440 minutes each day.

I started to lose weight by making several immediate changes. First, I stopped drinking sodas, and I started drinking water, which, in my opinion, assists tremendously in losing weight. Second, I cut out fast food. I have not been to a drive-through in 2 and a half years. I have had people tell me it is extreme for them to give up their fried chicken, cheeseburgers, French fries and other fast foods that are high in fat, calories and sodium. I tell them that extreme to me is the 10-inch scar on my chest from my heart surgery, and each person somehow finds a way to relate to that.

I mostly eat lean meats (primarily chicken) and foods that have a good nutritional content. Most, if not all, of my entire sugar intake is from fresh fruit, and I am a big vegetable eater -- I love vegetables, especially grilled or baked veggies lightly seasoned with olive oil and kosher salt and pepper. I also try to stay away from bad carbohydrates and focus on high-fiber food products. For me, they just taste better.

I believe balance is the key. I used to eat 95 percent garbage and 5 percent good-for-you food. Now, I eat 95 percent good and 5 percent savory foods that I love. I find myself eating so much better, and when I do eat something in that 5 percent category, I enjoy it so much more. I can finally taste the foods now instead of the constant binge.

Physical fitness and activity is a very important aspect of any weight-loss program. I have become a certified fitness trainer, and I have studied the effects of exercise on the body. It is critical that the body assume some sort of activity to promote weight loss. It is just healthy to exercise routinely.

I do both cardio and weight resistance training. I normally work my cardio on a treadmill and bicycle. During the summer, I would tread water for an hour and play basketball, and I have just started to walk and jog slowly, keeping my knees in mind. The point is that I try to mix up my exercise program as not to get bored. But exercise has been critical to my success.

When I speak to companies or groups, I tell them to set small goals because if they fall off track for some reason, which happens to all of us, they can get back on track and still be close to the original goal. Keep moving the bar. Make small changes. Small changes practiced routinely in your lifestyle add up to huge successes over time.

Stay focused. It's worth it. It is amazing what we can accomplish as individuals. We must believe in ourselves. We must also realize that no one can do it for us. I tell people that the spirit of my message is: "No matter how bad things seem to be, there is always hope and anything is possible."

After weight: 214

I guess this gentleman has wrote a book. Out Running My Shadow and the author is himself Keith Ahrens.

If you have read the book drop me a line in my comments section as to what you thought of it.

Well I think I am going to wander back to the turkey bowl and be a typical guy and watch some football...So as my weigh in comes up this Friday 4 days away please say a silent little prayer wishing me the strength to get though this battle with the turkey. Grin...

Until next time remember the road to success is always under construction.

From The Big Ape

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Success Continues

Well I would like to say I was honestly missed. I received a message the other day asking how my qwest was going. Yes it has been a bit since I last posted. I am just caught up in this whole new world of food. Now instead of making my life about eating all the time. I am now taking my time and exploring how food can work for me. Exploring new receipts, finding new food combinations. Based on my formula it creates new opporitunities. I was just thinking I keep talking about this formula like everyone knows it. Actually chances are you have probably seen it, and just never paid it any mind as it is just the Canada Food Guide Serving suggestions.
Here is my new found wisdom:

2 fruits and or vegtables 1 serving equals one piece of fruit or 1/2 cup frozen
2 grains that could equal 3/4 cup of hot or cold cereal and a piece of toast or two pieces of toast
1 8oz glass of milk perferably 1% or 1.5oz of cheese or a yogurt cup
1 meat or alternative This could be two eggs, 2 tblsp of peanut butter or 2.5oz of meat

AM Snack
1 fruit or vegtable or 8oz glass of v-8 or tomato juice
1 grain product

2 fruits and or vegtables
2 grain products
1 milk or alternative
1 meat or alternative equaling as close to 2.5 oz then you can get

PM Snack
1 fruit or vegtable
1 grain product

2 Fruits and or vegtables
2 grain products
1 milk or alternative
2.5 oz of meat or appropriate alternative

Bed time snack
1 friut or vegtable

Things that you might not know. Consider potatos as vetables.
Weigh and measure to get portions.

I think the biggest thing that I had a huge learning curve on was weighing the food. I had what they call porportion distortion. Refer to the Canada food guide if you have any questions. Also it would not be a bad idea to get involved with your local dietian at your health center. Generally their services are free. You may need a doctor referal. If you are finding you don't want the snacks between meals then it is a no brainer don't eat them. As I found I actually was eating more food through out the day. It was different or better food, of course you cut out the sweets and the biggest thing for me as I mentioned before is the portion size. Alot of times I can say I was eating portion sizes of a small family.

Well I am proud to announce that this does work as I have lost 5lbs in two weeks. Now you might say that is not very much weight. Remember this, slow and steady will keep it off. You should not be losing much more then 2LBS a week. Now the first week or so you might lose a bit more because of water weight. So after a month I am down 9LBS. I have got a long walk in this journey, but I have to remember, It took me 42 years to put it on, it is going to take me more then a few weeks to take it off.

Until next time remember,in the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Cheers from the Big Ape....

Sunday, September 20, 2009

So You Can Teach Old Apes New Tricks!

Well it has been a bit since I last posted. I apologize, but the Old Ape has been on a mission. It does not seem to matter how old I get I am still learning! I have discovered that is a good thing. What is stimulating the brain cells of this old primate you ask? Well I have found the secret to life. Now before you go calling the closest nut busters it is true. Now what is the secret to life you ask? Eat right and live long! It is that simple. Now for some that is a no brainier. As you may or may not know I struggle with the battle of obesity. Hence the title the 500lb gorilla. Now whether I weigh 500lbs or 25lbs, it is also about heart. Regardless of the size of the monkey I will always have a huge heart. Well I have started a mission that is not going to be an easy adventure, but if you are interested it could be colorful. I am going to allow you to join me in the quest of slim living. I had an ah ha moment when I was attending some classes in Edmonton Alberta at the first of the September. I was welcomed to attend this program, now I sit back and wait and for my chance to meet with the head of the organization. I feel like a junior waiting to see if I am good enough to move up to senior status. Now along the process you have to take some classes in order to get in. Now there is 8 classes. The first one is mandatory. The other 7 are strongly suggested, but you don't have to take them. Now I have always been a proponent that no education is time wasted. Join me if you will in the coming months as I invite you to follow along with me as to how this crazy adventure is ironed out. So the majority of my posts in the coming weeks will reflect my adventures in the huge battle I will wage against the mighty demon of obesity!

Obesity is disease not a condition! So many people me included treat obesity all wrong. All I have to do is get these 40 pounds off and life will be golden. Exercise more, and cut back at the table. Refrain from the coffee time munchies, and quick as you can say Bob is your uncle those 40 pounds will melt off like an ice cream cone on the 4th of July. Well I am here to say ladies and gentleman it is simply not that easy! That is the problem in today's society everybody is looking for the easy button. Push the button, and a big cloud of smoke, and out of no were you are 50lbs lighter. I have learned that is the problem I have been looking for the easy button far too long. The easy button is broken. It is time to rewire the diagram for better living.

The big picture of obesity. A fantastic lady with the first name of Pat explained obesity like this. We were asked if any one of us contracted cancer, heart problems or diabetes we would look after the condition. Now ladies and gentleman the point we are missing is obesity too is a disease so lets treat it accordingly. That was a real ah ha moment for this old ape. I was arrogant in my thought process that I could do it on my own and just go on with my life as I knew it. Well that day never came, and would yo yo diet losing and gaining for some 35 years. For every pound I have lost I have gained them back with probably every pound back with an extra 10 or 15 to add as a token investment.

Well The plan is in place. The map has been drawn. The path with the least resistance has been forged. I have a mission 2 lbs a week for ever after. I have been engaged in the process for the past 2 weeks. 4 lbs later and we are on the road to a slim lifestyle. Hang on I am sure it is going to be a bumpy road, but none the less and interesting one at the end of the day.

Until next time remember Confucius says: Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

From the slightly slimmer old ape.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

You Be The Judge

When it comes to religion I generally take the high road. I believe that everyone has a right to believe in what ever they want. I struggle at times with my religious ideals. I would say I guess that I am more spiritual then I am religious. I believe in god, but I also have a Buddhist ideology. I major in God, and I minor in Buddha. Now some might find that sacrilegious. I am what I am, and when the end comes I guess we will see where my place ends up.

This was sent to me and it makes a lot of sense, and I thought it was worth passing on. I think that is what is wrong with society today. Prayer was taken out of the schools, and "in God we trust" out of our civil buildings. That is what is wrong with spiritual ideals. People only believe on what works for them. It is all or nothing. We are a feel good society. What feels good we use, and the rest gets tossed to fringe groups to do with what they want. Pretty soon there is more fringe groups then the core groups. Then world ideals start to get all messed up. Read this next piece and you be the judge. Just remember this; "who am I to judge?" Judgment will be done by God himself.

This is a true story. The man who walks with God always gets to his destination. If you have a pulse you have a purpose.
The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion per capita
in Canada , especially in the minority
Last month I attended my annual training session that's required
for maintaining my federal prison security clearance.
During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers
representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who
explained each of their beliefs.
I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to
say. The Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam,
complete with a video.
After the presentations, time was provided for questions and
When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and
asked: 'Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most
Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against
the infidels of the world and, that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims) they are assured of a place in heaven. If
that's the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?'
There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he replied, 'Non-believers!'
I responded, 'So, let me make sure I have this straight.
All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can have a place in heaven. Is that correct?'
The expression on his face changed from one of authority and
command to that of a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.'
He sheepishly replied, 'Yes.'
I then stated, 'Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope John Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those of your
faith or Dr. Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee
them a place in heaven!'
The Imam was speechless!
I continued, 'I also have a problem with being your friend when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me!
Let me ask you a question: Would you rather have your
Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my
Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to heaven and He wants you to be there with me?'
You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame. Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the
Diversification training seminar were not happy with my way of dealing
with the Islamic Imam, and exposing the truth about the Muslims' beliefs.
In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in Canada to elect the Prime Minister!
I think everyone in Canada should be required to read this. There
is no way this will be widely publicized, unless each of us pass it on!
This is your chance to make a difference...

This kind of gets you thinking! Anyway opinions are like certain pieces of our anatomy. Everyone has one, just some are bigger then others. Until next time remember If a man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

From The Big Ape

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Who Should Be Allowed To Breed?

I would like to state for the record that I do not have children, and do not plan to have children. My wife and myself came to that mutual decision. None the less I feel I still have a right to comment on this subject as a free thinking human being (or ape in my

I sit back and remember a conversation I had with a RCMP constable in a coffee shop at 4AM one morning. He had just returned from a domestic disturbance call when he stated to the group of us; "You need a license to drive a car, You need a license to fish, You need a license to own a dog, You need a license to get married, Why the hell do you not need a license to have children?" For the record if people were checked out before procreating, and found out how many nut jobs there is in the world the world would be a pretty sparse looking planet. As there are just some people that should not be allowed to breed! Now all joking aside some people should not be allowed to procreate, because they are not smart enough to look after themselves let alone a child too! Now I am not saying that some people who need help in life should not be able to have children. I am talking about people that get up, hold down jobs, but just do not have the foresight to look past their own noses to think about someone else besides themselves let alone having to watch out for a defenseless child. We all know the type!

Baby ok after being left in hot car!
We all know as adults how hot it can get in a vehicle after sitting in it for a few minutes while some one runs in to a store for a few minutes. All that glass intensifies the suns rays to create a modern day easy bake oven if you will. Now pets are no different. People just don't think when it comes to pets either. Just cranking down a window a few inches is not the answer in keeping a pet safe. So why would we think that is suffice for a human life. Now before all the animal activists start a flood of hate mail. I consider any life as an important entity, but human life in the food chain is to be priority one next to an animal. It is what it is, or we would be running around eating little people along side all the other meat of the world. We have not got to that point yet in society thank god!

So have we got to the point that society has become such a wild west that it is the survival of the fittest? Thank god that there is people like that lady who cared enough to go investigate this situation, or we might be reading about different head lines regarding this young life. Now I think that there needs to be a BIG shame on you ministry of children services for not taking that child into protective custody. To say it was an momentary error in judgment is like saying I shot and killed bad! Well it makes as much sense! Whether it is just a wake up call to this mother to teach her the value of her child. Send her to parenting classes. Maybe it is a case that she needs help, and that is fine too get her help if that is what she needs. Just remember there is a value to human life, and we need to be accountable for the lives around us regardless of the age! I think I have got my point across now go out and enjoy the day with your children and pets!

Until next time remember the good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good.
- Bertrand Russell

From The Big Ape

Friday, August 14, 2009

Respect For Mother Nature

Respect is something that is earned, not demanded! That is something that I have been preaching forever. Well can the same be said when that applies to weather. We all know Mother nature has a strong hand, and when she wants us kept in line she shows her force, and we snap to attention.

Now wind has always interested me in the fact it comes in at such varying degrees. Depending how hard it comes in depends on how much we enjoy it. Now when it is sweltering hot, and a cool evening breeze slips in we welcome it like a long lost lover caressing your body. Now there is the winds in December that blows in off the snow in the prairies, and it is about as welcome as hornets nest at a July 4th's picnic.

Now what about when it gusts to the point of hurricaine style winds? They too can be truly traumatizing! Lets not forget the tornado style winds we seem to experience every year! Well when you get winds that is are hard enough to move objects 5 or six miles that generally take a medium size truck or tractor and a strong trailer to carry them. You have to appreciate Mother Nature when she produces winds like this!

(click on the picture itself and you should be able to expand them for better viewing pleasure)

Now you have to marvel at the fact these bails that you are looking at are ones that you see in your local farmers field. They generally are 7 feet tall and 7 or so feet round, and weighs about 1600 lbs!

Now you can view, and marvel the fact objects of this size could be compared to the likes of something as big as Paul Bunions breakfast cereal. Strewn around a field like a child's toy box after a Saturday afternoon play date.

Wow mother nature you have my attention. I respect you as much as a criminal respects a police officer with an itchy trigger finger, after looking at him through his sites of his service revolver while standing with him at close range.

Until next time remember honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

I would like to thank TMC for the email. I am not sure who took the pics, but they are truly amazing. Hats off to you for the great camera skills, who ever you are!

From The Big Ape

Sunday, August 9, 2009

How Far Do We Take Reality?

Ontario man accused of string of cruel online pranks. This is the headline that I will start off this piece off with. Now I have said many times I am really amazed how much reality television has taken over the air waves of late. Now I am not totally innocent of this peek into each others lives. I enjoy such shows as; The Contender, UFC ultimate fighter, Fight Girls. I have been known to watch the occasional show of wipeout or cops. My wife is a big fan of Dog The Bounty hunter! Now with that being said shows like Big Brother, Celebrity Rehab, Obsession etc are pushing the envelope I think a bit too far. Now Shows like the Cleaner that is done as a docu-drama where it is done with actors, and it is portrayed rather real to life is in my opinion all right. Why do we have to feel it is of interest to view into other peoples drama. My personal opinion to this is if we watch other peoples drama it takes the light off our own problems. Not only that we watch some one elses hardships. It makes our stuff not so messed up after all. As the saying goes no matter how messed up our own lives are, there is someone else out there that is messed up even more. Like I all ways say never judge a man, until you have walked a mile in his shoes.

Now there is two sides to this reality TV if we as people did not watch this stuff the shows would not stay on the air. Unfortunately reality tv is one of the most acceptable and watched programing because it makes people feel better about themselves. You tune in every week, and think wow maybe my stuff is not so bad after all! Have you watched an episode of Cops lately? Lol So with that being said one has to ask how stupid or naive can people be? Now as the for-mentioned article states to show how we as a society do things regardless how stupid as they are just because we feel it is coming from people with authority. People REALLY breaking up a hotel room because there is a supposed gas leak. Come on did you fall off the turnip truck last night? Think about what you are doing! Peeing on each other in public while being naked in a parking lot, COME ON!!! Can we not think for ourselves? That is once again why nobody wants to take responsibility for ones actions. We just do what we are told. No matter how stupid and messed up it is.

Now you have to credit the group (the smoking gun) who outed these assclowns. I just hope this is not going to be swept under the carpet. As they say there is really nothing wrong here as there is no laws being broken. These guys did not do anything wrong. There is no law for being stupid, because if that was the case our jails would be sealed to capacity because there is a lot of stupid people out there. I think people just need to step back and think before they do something. Lets be accountable for your own actions! Now with that being said I think these guys that found these naive people should be shot with a ball of their own shit! Come one people even though people are stupid don't exploit the fact!

Now with that being said I think I am going to go make a call, and see if I. P Freely is there?

Until next time...remember as P.T. Barnum said there is a sucker born every minute!

From The Big Ape

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Holy Kirpan Batman...

Holy Kirpan batman what is all the fuss? Respect diversity, accept the kirpan! Now as the title asks what is all the fuss, I will tell you what all the fuss is all about. What is a Kirpan? A ceremonial four-inch curved dagger that Sikh men and women are obliged to wear at all times after being baptized. Now as the earlier title of the enclosed story relates to we need to respect diversity, and except the Kirpan under religious ideals. How do you figure? If the Kirpan was a statue or a figure of something then I would say yes then we need to except based as a religious piece. Now that this is a weapon (being a 4" curved dagger) it is just that...a weapon! We do not have to except it. Now before all the do gooders stand up and say we as Canadians have a double standard then, because we allow the Christian's to wear a crucifix around their neck. Based on that the Sikh's should be allowed to wear the Kirpan because it is a religious symbol. Well that is where I say stop the bus my polite little turban friend. If your religious symbols cannot be used as a personal weapon knock yourself out, and wear what you like. Because your religious symbol could be used to kill a person. Sorry for your luck, but it has just run out! By the way I have never heard of a crucifix being pulled out to harm someone. I have heard of a knife or in your case dagger pulled to kill people.

Now I am all for diversity. What you do behind closed doors, religious or other wise as long as it does not break our Canadian laws of the land I feel you should be able to do. So in the case of this enclosed article they had this concert in their mosque all is fine and well. Now, when you start breaking Canadian Laws, or set up rules to protect our fellow country men that is when you need to step back and say where do I want to be? If you want to be in your home land, and follow the rules of your country. May I be the first to say good bye, and head home my foreign little friend. NOW...if you want to come to Canada, and enjoy our freedoms for what they are. I will be the first to welcome you. Now with that being said I do feel that your new found freedoms comes with some new found responsibilities. You need to learn our language. You need to understand, and obey our justice system. Now for your new found freedoms which I understand is leaps and bounds better then your country, or you would not be trying to get over here. I don't think that is too much to ask!

So next time you cry to our Canadian public that we are being unfair, and expect the Canadian people to be sympathize with you. Ask yourself a couple of questions. Does my request go against their justice system? Is my request something that is socially acceptable in my new home? If you answer no to either one of these questions, then you have a choice to make. Continue with my belief or rule, I need to practice in my homeland. Drop the belief and be welcomed to my new home. Our forefathers have fought very hard to have the rights we have today! Why should we give them up over night just to be socially acceptable?

Until next time remember...Opinions are like certain parts of the anatomy. Everyone has one, just some are bigger then others!

From the Big Ape

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

How Much Is Too Much Information?

Well as I sit typing this my Facebook account quietly updates itself. Twitter receives its tweets, my g-mail silently gathers my e-mail. Lets not forget my black berry, it is busy doing what blackberries do. Keeping me informed from a mobile stand point. I also have my scanner whispering sweet information into my ear telling me what is happening when you put your ear to the street. Now some of my readers probably got left behind at twitter and tweets. Don't feel ashamed, sometimes I think I have fallen into the information overload disease. Holy techno crunch batman! How informed do you really need to be? Well honestly it is not even keeping informed as much as just having something to do. As you may or may not know I come from a back ground of freelance media. A lot of this kind of stuff come from when I was a mobile scribe, but you scratch your head and say; "hold the phone my little chunky monkey you have not been into the media since 1998?" I can say I was probably the best informed PCA when I worked in health care. Like I say old habits die hard, and being nosy dies harder. Smile...

Some ask why do I have to be so nosy? It is not really being nosy as such, as it is being informed. Yes I will admit I am a news junky. What is one mans trivial fact might just be an interesting piece of news for someone else. I am roaming all over the internet. What am I looking for you ask? Well really nothing, but a whole lot of everything. I might scan the twitter site then go read a news paper. Then I will go read what is happening on Facebook, then something there might send me on another fact finding mission. Lets face it I am a technological ape that roams the internet looking informative bananas.

Society of today has become the new reporters. One used to turn on the news at 6PM to find out what was happening in the world as we know it. Now those reporters of today still keep some people informed, but that is a small percentage because of the wizardry of today the neighborhood kid on the street corner could be your next reporter. With Youtube, and various sites like this our local media look to these type of sites to polish their own stories that they bring to you at your dinner table. So I ask who is the reporter now? The neighborhood kid with a video phone, or your hi priced reporter that rolls when channel 6 news attends an event? A bigger
question comes to mind who is the better reporter? Jimmy with the eye for detail and a $200 I-Phone, or James Taylor with the $300 dollar sports jacket and $20,000 worth of gear? Some days that is left for debate!

Blogging is another medium that adds to the techno science of the wild web. A friend that is from the silver era asked me to explain to him in layman's speak. So just as I have pretty well did it here they asked WHY? That is a big question; "To be informed I reply." Then I was asked how much information is too much? Well I find that kind of a personal question. Not like how many times to you go to the bathroom, but personal in the sense of it depends on you as a person. What you might find is information overload is just getting me warmed up...Grin

So in conclusion I should be getting back to checking my various news haunts to see what is happening in the world. I would be interested from you as a reader what is too much information for you? What has got you saying you are on information overload, and need to unplug from the system for a bit. Allowing you to get back with nature and the simple things in life.

Until next time Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off

From the Big Ape

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

What Message Do We Send?

Well I posed a question to some pretty smart people the other day. Nat'l Football League reinstates Michael Vick on a conditional basis. He's eligible now to sign with a team. What do you think? These people that I asked were friends in the media, but I feel they are a pretty good cross section of society. I was a little shocked with one response, but then again I was looking at a cross section of society, and maybe this is how a certain part of society feels. Who am I to judge? A pretty good social experiment none the less. Now for most cases they felt he was an over rated player to begin with so if a club was ever so brave to hire this social mis-fit, more power to them. I like the one response he payed his debt to society let him come out and start over. Well as the person put it; "if he was a plumber, and he served his time he could come out and be a plumber again...right?" Very valid point if you pay your debt to society why not move on. The only problem is society as a whole right or wrong judge you for your past. As in Vick's case I agree I think he was over rated as a player, so if a team is willing to take him on best of luck. Is he any worse then any other steroid crazed misfit? When do we as society say you deserve to go work some where normal for an honest days work, and go home at the end of the day like the rest of us average people. Why should these profile people; "celebrities" if you will be given a free pass just because of their social status. Do you want these people being your kids mentor? Now people make mistakes, and I agree they deserve a second chance, but in some cases the second chance card does not mean you get to start over in the same place you were in society. Respect is earned not demanded. More people have to learn that social rule.

We just seen in Calgary where a very viable clinic learned first hand because of who they are they were judged as to where they were actually allowed to set up. Now that judging was being done from our very own government officials. Not in my back yard is the social consensus. There was a lot of judgment with out education on that matter. People in a lot of cases make decisions on mis-guided information, or just ignorant judgmental thoughts. Should they be our government officials making decisions for you and me?

So next time we make decisions for the betterment of our children or just society in general we need to stop and think what we are doing before we make that decision. Now you ask; "I am just an average Joe what decisions do I make that is going to make an impact on society?" Well I would like to point out to everyone that when we vote we need to think who we are putting in there, and what they stand for. Now take a concerted effort and educate your self as to are these people. What are they doing for me? Remember these voted officials are representing you as a paying tax payer. As a current MLA in Northern Alberta found out representing your voting public cost him his job last week. That just showed you what kind of leader we have as a provincial representative. Now please remember this when it comes to our next election. Vote for the people that are sending the right message not the ones that look the flashiest, or the ones that speak the best double speak. Remember what message do you want to be sent?

Monday, July 6, 2009

Bits and Bytes of a Confused Ape...

Well I sit down to type this a little more confused then normal. Can someone please tell me why there is such an uproar when a celebrity dies. The grief is explainable, if it is a family member in your own family, but come on people these stars mean nothing to us. At least I would hope that I have more of a life that I become disturbed when a man or woman passes that I have never met, talked to, or ever really cared about. See I understand this whole concept of the voyeurism in today's society as to people's lives are messed up they have to worry about people we do not know so we do not have to worry about our own baggage. Now for the next 2 or 3 years it is going to be Jackson this, and Micheal that. Hell we are still seeing Elvis's face in grilled cheese and still hold Princess Di up on a pedestal of the tallest magnitude. Don't get me wrong these people have a place in life, and I will even say they are important, but how far does a total stranger take that importance? I really think that a lot of this hub bub is just a money making adventure. Bobble head dolls, mini statues, now they will have white Jacko gloves with his initials on them. Really people just let these people pass in peace! No one wanted to make a bobble head doll after my uncle Felix passed. Now who was my uncle Felix, and why should he have a doll named after him? He was important to us does that not make him important enough to memorialize him? A joke comes to mind when I hear about celebrities packing it in. There was a lady madly in love with Elvis and when he died she was utterly devastated. So nearly losing her marriage to her obsession she decided to go a shrink. So after 10 years of twice a week visits he finally tells her; "my dear I can do no more for you if you still need a memorable reminder of Elvis the best thing I can recommend is get a tattoo." So she thought this was a splendid idea. So off to a shop she set off. She goes in and says to the artist; " do you do portraits?" He replied he did so they agreed on a price of $240 for a tattoo of Elvis on the inside of her upper left thigh. So the artist completes the picture she look at the work, and claims that he does not look like Elvis. So he agreed to do another one on the right upper thigh just to make her happy. Well he toiled away for 4 hours it was one of his best pieces. Well she still was whining. So he seen there was no pleasing her so he threw her out of his shop. So although it was not very lady like she is sitting at the bus stop up the street looking at this art with her dress pulled up to her waste. So there was this gentleman walks by she says excuse me sir. He stops...She asks does this here picture on the inside of left thigh look like Elvis? Well kinda, uh, no not really. Well how about that picture on my inside of my right thigh? Well it is a bit better, but that one in the middle sure looks like Willy Nelson.....Grin On that point I will move on. God speed Jacko you are gone, but will never be forgotten. As long there is a buck to be made from merchandising your junk!

Now that summer season kicks in to high gear so does rodeo season. If you follow rodeo at all there is generally a gaggle of do gooders that have to speak up for the critters. Let me be the first to say that these critters are looked after better then a lot of people in this world. These critters are athletes in the critter world. People have the mis-conception that animals have feelings. Sorry people we are the only species that feel emotion in the animal kingdom. The animal world only aims to please. Think about it these animals work for 8 seconds or in tie down roping tops a couple minutes a day. They are vet checked daily. Fed and watered with the best feed and water money can buy, generally twice a day. More or less they can compare well to the rock star life style of the people world. I would dream to be a bull, cow, goat, sheep or horse, and have the pampered lifestyle of a first class animal athlete. They are even given breeding schedules. As a guy I can say a pampered well bred critter is a happy critter. I can speak on this point matter a factually! Grin.... So when you hear about all these protests for the betterment of the animal tell them to go cool their heels in a cow patty as they are doing just fine thanks. I personally recommend you go try to save a tree somewhere.

Well I can say that I have got my banana's out of a bunch, and feel better for it. Remember: Live on, survive, for the earth gives forth wonders. It may swallow your heart, but the wonders keep on coming. You stand before them bareheaded, shriven. What is expected of you is attention.

Until next time....
Cheers From The Big Ape

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Plan

You know I really like Robin Williams, and after reading this not only do I like him as a very funny man. I respect him as a very smart man! He has a plan for the USA, and I think Canada should barrow a page from this plan also.

The Plan!

Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says 'I love New York '
in Arabic.

You gotta love Robin Williams......Even if he's nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan...
(Hard to argue with this logic!)

'I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.'

1) 'The US will apologize to the world for our 'interference' in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good 'ole' boys', we will never 'interfere' again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East , and the Philippines . They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are.. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers..

5) No foreign 'students' over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a 'D' and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not 'interfere.' They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us 'Ugly Americans' any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH..learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

'The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your tired your poor, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' '

Remember the goal toward which all history tends is peace, not peace through the medium of war, not peace through a process of universal intimidation, not peace through a program of mutual impoverishment, not peace by any means that leaves the world too weak or too frightened to go on fighting, but peace pure and simple based on that will to peace which has animated the overwhelming majority of mankind through countless ages. This will to peace does not arise out of a cowardly desire to preserve one's life and property, but out of conviction that the fullest development of the highest powers of men can be achieved only in a world of peace.

-- Robert Maynard Hutchins (1899-1977)

From The Big Ape

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Becareful What You Wish For!

Well I would like to start off by wishing all the fathers out there a happy fathers day! I always get nervous on this day as I am not sure what wild seeds might come back to roost from my younger years. Actually I think I am pretty safe. When I was out their harvesting my wild oats I was sure to wear my rubber boots. I was a good farmer... Lol

Anyway as for the title the Canadian Government wants to ram another bill down our throats allowing them to be able to obtain your information from your cell phone ie. calls being recorded, and email information including what you write. Now there is a double edge to this sword. It is going to cost your providers whether it be internet or telephone a whole bunch of money to ramp up to do this . It is going to force the small providers out of business as the cost of doing business is going to out weigh what you are going to get as a benefit. Also we as customers are going to be on the hook for the cost of doing such an upgrade so it is a lose, lose proposition for we as customers.

The law enforcement agencies can approach a provider and under the "preservation order" obtain what you write or say. Call me an alarmist, I think this is a very slippery slope! Not only can they obtain what you have said or written they can get a court order to continue to receive it for 90 more days. Now I know I can hear you now if you have done nothing wrong what is your problem? Well again I don't believe that all law enforcement members are always on the up and up. Sorry I guess it has been that 10 years working in the court houses as a reporter. PEOPLE there is dirty cops out there! If you happen to beat a ticket, and piss off an officer who is to say he cannot fabricate a story present it to a judge, and get what he wants. I also don't think that all judges are perfect either. That code of "the wall of blue" blankets them too. Just look at that fiasco of the Polish gentleman getting tasered at the Vancouver airport. There has been a sea of lies in that case!

So in a day of people Twittering, Facebooking, Texting, Emailing, along with using their cell phone more then we ever have before we are now going to have to go back to days of actually talking to people face to face. That means people will actually go visit people again. Not like the teenagers of today that text each other when they are in the same room. You laugh, but I have seen this first hand. I think maybe the art of speaking maybe has just been thrown a life line. So before it is too late go text, fax, email, or call (LOL) your MP and tell him/her that the "preservation order" needs to die.

Until next time remember life is sexually transmitted. I hope all the fathers have the day they are hoping for.

From The Big Ape

Saturday, June 6, 2009

What Is Rotten Ronnie Up To?

Well this is something that has been eating at my craw for about a month now. In my eyes Ronald McDonald has crossed the line. What do you ask has got my knickers in a knot with our favorite light-hearted clown? In Canada McDonald's canceled their orange drink!!! Some like the Mc-burgers, some the fries. Well I am different I went for the nector of the gods. Their orange drink. It was not pop as it was never carbonated. Then my Sister-in-law further added to that niggling of my last Mc-nerve, with this public letter;

CANADIAN Beef: Something to think about!


I'm sure those of you who aren't in the cattle business don't understand the issues here. But to those of us whose living depends on the cattle market, selling cattle, raising the best beef possible... This is frustrating.
This will keep us from ever stopping there again, even for a drink.
The original message is from the Alberta Cattle Feeders Association Canadian cattle producers are very passionate about this.
McDonald's claims that there is not enough beef in Canada to support their restaurants. Well, we know that is not so. Our opinion is they are looking to save money at our expense. The sad thing of it is that the people of
Canada are the ones who made McDonald's successful in the first place, but we are not good enough to provide beef. We personally are no longer eating at McDonald's, which I am sure does not make an impact, but if we pass this around maybe there will be an impact felt.
Please pass it on. Just to add a note:
All Canadians that sell cattle at a livestock auction barn have to sign a paper stating that we do NOT EVER feed our cattle any part of another animal. South Americans are not required to do this as of yet.
McDonald's has announced that they are going to start importing much of their beef from South America. The problem is that South Americans aren't under the same regulations as Canadian beef producers, and the regulations they have are loosely controlled.
They can spray numerous pesticides on their pastures that have been banned here at home because of residues found in the beef. They can also use
various hormones and growth regulators that we can't.
The Canadian public needs to be aware of this problem and that they may be putting themselves at risk from now on by eating at good old McDonald's.
Canadian ranchers raise the highest quality beef in the world and this is what Canadians deserve to eat. Not beef from countries where quality is
loosely controlled. Therefore, I am proposing a boycott of McDonald's until they see the light.

I'm sorry but everything is not always about the bottom line, and when it comes to jeopardizing my family's health, that is where I draw the line.
I am sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) ... and those 300 send it to at l east ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000) ... and so on, by the time the message reaches
the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers!
I'll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you? Acting together we can make a difference. If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on.
Larry Latam
Windsor (519)968-1791 London (519)488-2386

Now I think we as concerned shoppers should contact the rotten Ronnie HQ in Toronto Canada with our concerns. They can be called during normal business hours at
Toronto: (416) 446-3932 eastern standard time, and let them know we are not happy with their marketing concepts as of late. These big companies have forgotten how they got as big as they did on the stomachs of the red neck population. Like the email says if we just send this to ten people and it gets forwarded on. Sir Grease-a-lot will get the hint and start going back to what made them famous. The quarter pounder with cheese, a large orange drink, and a medium fries, with an apple pie. Now I must admit that is not the most heart smart meal in life, but every once and a while you need to take a trip on the wild side just to let your heart know you are still alive!

Until next time remember McDonalds announced it’s considering a more humane way of slaughtering its animals. You know they fatten them up and then kill them. You know the same thing they do to their customers, isn’t it?

Jay Leno

From The Big Ape

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Dreaded Talk.....

As many parents just think about talking to their kids about sex education, a bead of sweat percolates on their brow. Or is that way any more? Can kids of today have a candid discussion with Mom and Dad about the birds and the bees? Studies show that although kids are sexually active today they are not getting the right information to protect themselves. Today of all times with sexually transmitted diseases kids and adults alike need to be informed properly to stop the vicious cycle. Can you believe it or not the senior population is a very high carrier of STD's. Why is that? Are they too embarrassed to talk about sex to their doctors and or family? They are just having unprotected sex anyway. Thinking what do we have to lose at our age? I know some people think that is just wrong that Grandma is still getting action at 80 years old. Remember their might be snow on the roof, but there is still fire in the furnace. Now for the senior population you would think they would be wiser, and not making silly mistakes like that. Remember though back in their day sex is not something you talked about openly. Now fast forward 60 years sex is everywhere. I pose the question to you. Do you think it is the job of the school to teach sex to your children? Going back to my day, and I know this is dating me a bit I remember a story of our sex-ed teacher telling us boys if we got REAL DESPERATE we could use a piece of liver in a plastic bag. Now at the time we all thought this was just way too funny, but now I look back from an adult prospective, and wonder what he was thinking telling a bunch of adolescent boys with hormones on high to use liver in a pinch. Two points to this story:
1. I am not sure where he is getting his women from, but believe you me if I had a women that felt like liver I would take her to a doctor immediately!
2. As much as I still like liver as a meal I still look at liver and get a funny feeling when I thin k of that teacher.

Should teachers that teach sex education take a special course on the subject? Who is making sure they are passing on the right information? With today's computer education, and media advancement. I am a bit puzzled why teens would feel misinformed or uninformed when it came to sex education. In days when the teens of today are far more smarter then the youth of the past you would think that not only would the teens be better informed they would be practicing safer sex in today's society. That just goes to show you all the education in the world does not over turn maturity regardless of the age.

Until next time remember; “Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?”

From The Big Ape

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Breakfast Anyone?

I was always told if you woman cannot find you handsome they better find you handy. Well I think Mellody lost out on both counts, but then again maybe I can be a bit handy at times. This is kind of interesting I will have to give this a try.


works great !!! Good for when all your family is
together. The best part is that no one has to
wait for their special omelet

guests write their name on a quart-size Ziploc
freezer bag with permanent

2 eggs (large or extra-large) into the bag (not
more than 2) shake to combine

out a variety of ingredients such as: cheeses,
ham, onion, green pepper, tomato, hash browns,
salsa, etc.

guest adds prepared ingredients of choice to
their bag and shake. Make sure to get the air
out of the bag and zip it

the bags into rolling, boiling water for exactly
13 minutes [we did 15 minutes]. You can usually
cook 6-8 omelets in a large pot. For more, make
another pot of boiling

the bags and the omelet will roll out easily. Be
prepared for everyone to be

to serve with fresh fruit and coffee cake;
everyone gets involved in the process and a
great conversation piece.

From the Big Ape

Friday, May 29, 2009

Does Needing a Passport Stop You From Traveling To The USA?

Well as of June 1st our big brothers to the south are requiring us to have a passport to cross their border. What do you think of that? Since September 11th has the security measures been over kill? Do you really think that having a passport to cross the border going to make it any safer? Something that maybe not everyone has been made aware of is on two occasions here in my home town of Medicine Hat certain people had their documents go missing while they waited to receive there passports. Now you ask how does the government lose such important papers? Now believe this or not the government does not value your documents any more then to toss them in the mail, and hope for the best. I do have to say they are using priority post, but non the less documents as important as a passport should be moved by a more secure means then Canada Post. Why would they not use their inter-government mail transfer system? I assure you if it was their pay check it would be a local reputable courier service being used!

In the days of security breaches since 9-11 we should be more cognizant of what is happening to us regarding our countries security. I wonder out loud how much we should be worried, or is it the good old USA are just belt and suspenders type people? We all know that Canada seems to be the safe haven for every low life that wants to do wrong. Lets go to Canada they will take us. When the time is right we will slip into the states and do our dastardly deeds, and slip back home no one being the wiser.

A lot of people have a notion that Canadians are peace loving conservatives. We live in a frozen tundra that only Eskimos and sled dogs along with fugitives want to inhabit. Actually that is probably as far from the truth as what people actually believe. Yes we do have some nasty winters. Yes we do have some simple people here. Really if the truth be known other then the fact we are not as in your face as our American cousins we are not really that different. I will say the USA has a lot more money invested in technology, but there again they have the tax population to fund such projects.

Non the less I really believe that the border crossing procedures are a bit strict. We Canadians enjoyed slipping across the border to catch some great deals from our trading partners to the south. Maybe at the end of the day in these times of belt tightening they might make it so tight they strangle themselves to death. As it is it is very apparent that there is a lot of people will no longer be taking those side trips, because they do not have a passport. One has to factor in now if you are having to pay any where between $80 to upwards $200 for processing for a passport is it such cheap shopping anymore? If you need to factor in that added expense you are likely going to pay the same price here at home. The big box stores in the
USA seem to have the same idea, because now they are slowly starting to trickle up here, and open their doors because they can see the added value of our Canadian dollars. For now I think I will save my travel dollars invest it in Shipping and handling and shop on line where I do not need a passport. At least not yet anyway!....grin

Until next time remember; “To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible”

Earl Wilson

From The Big Ape

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

How Distracted Are You?

I read this article police target distracted drivers. Now I do agree if you are trying to read and drive you are a dumbass, and deserve a ticket. Now there is people who cannot walk and chew gum so it is debatable whether they actually should have a drivers license to begin with. Now driving and drinking a coffee, and being ticketed for that I think is a bit harsh. You think you have road rage now! Take away coffee from people in traffic, and you are creating a ticking time bomb! Now talking on a cell phone that is up for debate. Especially if you are using a head set. I have been guilty of this as most of us are. Now the young people text more then most people talk anymore so texting and driving deserves a ticket, and a dumbass of the year award I might add. Now before any tickets are handed out our law enforcement better practice what they preach. Now I do not want to hear well we are trained professionals we are allowed to drive and talk. Lets take this one step further what about people who use radios for their job. So do they have to stop to use their radio's? I think a better way of handling the matter is if an accident happens due to the cause of one of these devices then charge them accordingly. Lets use the laws that we have in place. That is the problem with society. People seem to think lets create new laws to solve life's problems.

So I encourage everyone to contact their local and provincial politicians, and tell them to enforce what laws we have, rather then weigh us down with more legislation to clog up the courts even further.

So until next time remember before we work on artificial intelligence why don't we do something about natural stupidity? ~Steve Polyake

From the Big Ape...

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Are You Being Ripped Off?

As you know when I get a good tip I like to pass it on. So my sister-in-law thought this was one of those tips that needed just that exposure. Thanks Vickie you too is what keeps the big ape so popular! Now before I post this I would like to post my own tip as not so much as getting ripped off per say is as to the best time to fuel a vehicle. It is best to do this task when it is cooler out side. To get the maximum quantity pumped. I am not sure how it works, just trust me, and either fill in the morning before the days gets too hot, or in the evening when the day starts to cool. It has to do with the expansion of the vapors in the tank. Now with that being said try this next tip, and if you find you are being ripped off contact the authorities immediately. It may not be done intentionally, but non the less it needs to be stopped!

Cheating at the gas pumps (PRINT OUT YOUR RECEIPTS!!!)

This email was sent to me by my sister-in-law who has a friend whose cousin is the Ridgetown, Ont. fire captain.
This is true. It happened to them three weeks ago somewhere in
Ridgetown on our way to Kingston. The pump should have totaled @ $38.00 (and change).
When the receipt was printed, and she checked it was $ 47.00 (and change).
She got mad, went inside the store, asked for a calculator and let them
do the math. They refunded her. She told them that if they cheat, they
had better make it right. Normally, her husband would skip printing the

Not her...

We saw on the news the other night that this is happening everywhere.
Brian pumped exactly one liter of gas. The price did not match the cost
of one liter. It was higher. He went inside and complained, got a refund.
There is also a number on each pump that you can call and complain..
This is a true story, so read it carefully.

On March 24, 2009, I stopped at a gas station in Chatham. My truck's
gas gauge was on 1/4 of a tank. I use the regular grade, which was priced at
88.5 per liter. BTW what is up with that as we are in oil rich Alberta, and are paying nearly 20 cents more!!!! When my tank is at this point, it takes somewhere
around 45 liters to fill it up. When the pump showed 45 liters had been pumped, I began to slow it down.
Then, to my surprise, it went to 50, then 55. I even looked under my
truck to see if it was being spilled. It was not. Then it showed 60 liters on
the pump. It stopped at 62 liters. This was very strange to me, since my truck has only a 65 liter tank. I went on my way a little confused, then on the evening news I heard a report that 1 out of 10 gas stations had calibrated their pumps to show more gas had been pumped than a person actually got.

Here is how to check a pump to see if you are getting the right amount:
Whichever grade you are using, put EXACTLY 10 LITERS in your tank, then
look at the dollar amount. If the dollar amount is not EXACTLY 10 times
the price of the fuel you have chosen, then the pumps are rigged.

In my case, as I said, the mid-grade was $0.885 per liter; my dollar
amount for 10 liters should have been $8.85 . I wish I had checked the
pump. It doesn't matter where you pump gas, please check the 10 liter
price. If you do find a station that is cheating, contact the MTO, and
direct your comments to the Commissioner, the
info is on the gas pumps.

Please don't delete this until you have sent it to all people you know. We need to put a stop to this outrageous cheating of customers. The gas companies are making enough profits at honest rates.

Remember in this day and age we need to be observant when we can as fuel is going up all the time, and we cannot afford to be ripped of any more then the government is doing it to us already through our fuel taxes.

Until next time remember theft is against the law because the government does not like competition!

From the Big Ape

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Big Idea From One Man Or Maybe Ape...

As I skim my daily readings on this Saturday morning I wonder aloud why we would decided to sentence a person to 125 years in prison and want to keep them alive? Especially a teacher at that! Now for the record the person has not been sentenced yet, but if the thought is there, he will be there as quick as you can say Bob is your uncle! Now if he would have decided to do this in nandy pamby Canada. At best he would have got 25 years, and if the truth be known because of all the bleeding hearts he would be hard pressed to serve 15 years. Now getting back to the original idea, if a person oh say is sentenced to anymore then say 50 years. Why are they being kept alive? Now I can hear the bleeding hearts again....but they might be only 50 to 70 years old! So why not let them live out their golden years? Tell me what good are they to society at this point? I know that it is tough talk coming from a big ape that is on disability, that lives off of the government trough you say. STOP one second though some might say I am a hypocrite for saying that. Some might say why don't we put you to sleep? As I am not much good to society either! Well you can try, but the difference between them and me is this: I am not the demise of my life. I did not choose my path! Someone or something took my life.

The person who knowingly breaks the law and is sentenced a 30, 40, 50 or 100 years before you see the free world again. Sorry you are the weakest link...Good bye! I like the idea of what the Chinese do. If you are sentenced to a life sentences you are taken out back of the court house and exterminated. Now I can hear all the bleeding hearts, BUT what if someone is falsely accused? Well for every person that gets a bum rap, there is 25 more getting their just desserts! Tell me society moves at such a pace now that if a person is taken out of the loop for 15, 20, or 30 years what good are they going to be in society? Hell every time I walk into my local electronics store I feel that society is passing me by. Can you imagine what someone would feel like that is totally taken out of the loop! Mind you then again the way some of the way these prisoners are treated, they probably are treated to better technology then the working stiff on the street. I would hope that is a tongue in cheek statement....please let that be the case! So next time we as tax payers look at your tax bill just think about 20% of those dollars are paying to keep some creep alive in a prison when he has no reason to live. Now an area that really makes my blood just boil is the people that are involved in kiddy porn. Children that are exploited for pornography is sooooo wrong! Those sick bastards I am sorry do not deserve to take another breath in my book! Nuke them I say!!!!!

Finally if you start exterminating a few people it would send a message to tread lightly if you are a criminal , because if you do not, and you are sent packing for an extreme stay. You are going to do society a favor, and be labeled the weakest link, and some judge some where is going to tell you so, and we are all going to bid you GOODBYE YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK in that snappy English accent! Grin

Until next time remember; opinions are like certain parts of the anatomy. Everyone has one, just some are bigger then others!

From The Big Ape

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Is Big Brother Watching You?

In a day where technology gets smarter and smarter, does that mean we get more careless? How private do you think your life really is? When we have facebook, myspace and every other social networking space out there who is really private anymore? Now I guess if you are unplugged you should be safe....well maybe not so much. If you have someone who really wants to make your life miserable there is identity theft, or just someone that wants to be malicious. They can create a profile and pretty well say what they want. Now lets take this one step further you have a good time one weekend do somethings you are not exactly proud of, but feel that as long as you do not do it again all will be forgiven. Well the old adage what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas may not be the case. Case in point...Social networking plays out in court. So even though you are portrayed in one light by day you better act like that at night or it may come back and haunt you! Now if you have a facebook page, and you have pictures of last weekend at the beer and whiskey run, and you were seen dancing on tables about 2AM. Now follow me and walk down a slippery slope here, say you are the CEO of a huge company do you want the board of directors really seeing those pictures? Unless they were the ones throwing the I digress! So the whole point to this is be careful what you do, and remember what you do today might come back and burn your ass tomorrow so be careful out there! Now I think I am going to go checkout my Facebook page and see what is new. lol

Until next time remember It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are? I thought that was kind of fitting because of the topic at

From the Big Ape

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Are We Throwing The Baby Out With The Bath Water?

That is a saying my Grandmother used to use when people acted with a knee jerk reaction on an important matter. The matter at hand is the banning of Tasers by law enforcement in Canada especially Alberta. Now I will say that there has been a very unfortunate incident again this past Wednesday. Another man has died when in an altercation. They are trying to determine if it was the fault of the taser. Again it is important that someone died, and my condolences go out to the family and friends of the man in question. I can say I too knew Mr. Prentice. We were not long lost friends, but we went to school together. No one deserves to die in an altercation, whether it is with law enforcement or just with another person. The sad thing someone died at all. Now there is details that is being investigated as we speak that I am sure will come out at a later date. I will say that outside investigators were brought in at once. Nobody is trying to hide anything. The authorities are trying to make sense of a very bad situation. I can say I bet that cop is reliving that call time and time again wondering if they could have done something different. Now for the record keep in mind the victim was in distress. He was agitated, that is the reason the police was called in the first place. It was reported that he had approached people on the street in the neighborhood along with trying to force his way into a house in that same area. It was also reported he was seen being agitated and bleeding. So along with the police, medical attention was also summoned. Now I would like to state for the record I am not getting this information first had. This information is what I have seen in different media reports. When the individual was approached by law enforcement he was some what combative, and had to be restrained. Upon this altercation a taser was used to help subdue the person in question. Now people have to understand a few things here:
1. We are not sure even if the taser was discharged in the altercation, did it actually penetrate the person in question?
2. If the person in question had not resisted, the taser would never have been even thought of to be used.
3. Keeping in mind the taser is a better choice then having to pull their service revolver and shoot the person.
4. The person passed away they figure of a heart attack. Critics are saying it was because of the taser. My question is would he have passed away regardless of the taser? Was he having medical problems anyway, and that is why he was acting out to begin with, and would have died anyway?
5. Lastly this person was known to police for being aggressive on previous incidents.

Now the whole situation is very sad! A person died here, but if we can learn one thing from all this. Do not resist or defy law enforcement when they make requests of you. Also lets rethink the request to ban tasers, because I assure you if they pull their service revolver the person probably has a less chance of living!

RIP Grant you are gone, but will never be forgotten....

From The Big Ape

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Is Laughter The Best Medicine?

If you ask Patch Adams of the Gesundatheit Institute he would agree. That is what his whole institute is built on. If we laugh and see happiness in our life we will heal better from life's illness's or just feel better in general. Just remember back to the last time you were feeling ill and happened to crawl into bed and flip on the TV or pop in a movie, and you became so engrossed that you forgot how ill you really were. If you have never done this try it next time you are feeling under the weather. Pop in a comedy in your DVD player or watch your favorite sitcom you might be amazed how much better you feel at least for the short term anyway. Actually what got me thinking about this is an article I read last week (sorry I can not find it now) on the subject of doctors offices not allowing their nurses to have comedy TV on in their waiting rooms, as it was starting to effect how the patients were feeling when they actually got in to see the doctor. Maybe if we did not have so long to wait we would not have time to watch enough TV to make us feel better. It must be an United States thing as I do not know too many doctor's offices that are hooking up televisions in their waiting rooms. Although it might be just a matter of time as my dentist actually has TV and videos in the ceiling to distract you while he works on your teeth. My local lab that I attend to get my blood work done at also has TV in their waiting rooms. Generally it is turned to the current talk show of the hour or Judge Judy. It is nothing that would enlighten me enough to make me feel better enough to forget what is happening to me physically. Even those that are depressed benefit from a good belly laugh or two. If you have ever seen the movie Patch Adams you will understand more. If you have never seen this movie it is an oldy, but a goody according to the old ape anyway. Who can resist watching a movie with Robin Williams in it? It is on my top 10 watch again movies list. I really believe we need more Patch Adam's in the world. Well on that note I better wander back to the jungle and get some work done. No that was not a joke....Honest I do some work once and a while! Hey I see you breaking out in laughter. Well at least made you smile!

Until next time remember lifes tough, get a helmet!

From the Big Ape

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

What is News to You?

On today's super hiway of technology we get information from all over the place. People telling their story. People reporting on different subjects, but the big question is what is really news to you? A lot of the news networks have a computer component to them also. We can read news from soldiers first hand what is happening on the war on terrorism. It does not get any more real then that. That is first hand news at its finest. Now what got me thinking about this piece as Miss California deals with a photo that was posted on the net. Now personally I don't think that the photo is that risky, but then again it takes a lot to get me to flinch. With my experience of working in the media I have learned to tell no one or show no one anything that you do not want to be posted for someone's enjoyment, and believe me when I say one person's enjoyment is someone elses drama.

So I pose the question to you as readers where do you get your news? What do you consider news? Are you like some; believe 1/2 what you read, and 3/4 what you see?

Here is some of my sources:
Google News

AOL News

So here is a few of my sources I use when I try and stay informed. I would be interested who you get your news from on line. Well I know this was a short post, but I just had a few minutes, and thought I would post what I was thinking. See that is why it was a short post. I don't think too long or my brain starts to hurt.

Until next time remember everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

From The Big Ape :-)

Thursday, April 30, 2009

No I am Not Sick Again

I thought I better drop everyone a line real quick note, and let people know that I have not croaked. Just for the record Mellody has not killed me either, although if she had I guess I would not be sending this out...Grin Anyway I have just been busier then a one legged man at an ass kicking contest. We have officially launched Big Ape Productions. It happened really quickly after my recent discharge from hospital. If you ask Mellody it was too quick, but non the less we are up and running. So here is a shameless plug for all your Asset Insurance Photography, Slide Show Presentations, or VHS to DVD transfers think of Big Ape Productions. We can be reached by calling 403 488 6433. Keep in mind we are also doing matrimony dispute asset photos and land lord pre and post rental report photos.

I might add that I had a major computer melt down. I think the Good Lord was just testing me to see if I would snap or not. Well I am here to report that it was very close at times, but we are up and running again. Did I mention that technology is great when it works, but BOY WHEN IT DOES NOT.....

Well I am off to have the powers to be hook the big ape up with some electrodes and watch me sleep. Now that is an interesting job if I have ever heard of one! Well I hope I can keep them entertained. The last time we did this I stopped breathing for upwards of 2 minutes at a time multiple times a night. No wonder I felt like I did. Anyway they have me hooked up to a ventilator at night so I don't have to worry about breathing it does it for me. An amazing little machine! So it is great just in case I stop to think and forget to start again I do not have to worry about whether I am breathing or not....LOL

Anyway I better wander back into the jungle as Mellody will be home soon to cart my carcass off to the hospital in Calgary.

So until next time.....Remember the average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

From The Big Ape