Saturday, February 28, 2009

One Week...What could you do?

A movie has hit the screens with an interesting plot. One Week is a movie with a social conciseness. What would you do if you were told that you had only one week to live? Some would curl up in the corner, and give up. Some might go on a party that never ended until the end. My wife is a deep thinker so I have not got an answer back when I posed the question. My response was of course what ever I did I would want her to be with me. She thought that was pretty sweet. (you know sucking up is a good thing when you are about to die lol) I think it would kick me out of a rut that I have kind of slipped in. The biggest thing is he who says money does not rule the world has never been short of money. Now for that week if I could do it, I would do the same concept as the movie in question. Now I will say that I have not seen the movie yet, but I heard the concept explained by the lead teen heart throb that has turned 30 something. Well I am just a crusty old ape so the hansom heart throb part of the movie has go lost with me, but the concept of the hit is a home run.

So I guess the next question is keeping in mind that you are probably sick or you would not be dieing right. What could you do in a week? As the time went on the sicker you would get. Like I said depending on the amount of money you had the time you had could be made comfortable in a big bus flying down the road. Lets be more creative though. Anybody could do that right! A motorcycle or convertible is more exciting.

What would you see? Every rocking bar between Toronto and Vancouver? Every nudy bar between Halifax and Victoria? You would not have time to see all the wonders between the two coasts, but there is some pretty major points of interests right off of the highway. The large nickle just outside of Thunder Bay. Lets not forget the big goose in Manitoba. I am sure there is many points of interest that comes to mind that was your favorite. The point to all this is one thing though. Why wait to find out that you are dieing to do something like this. I heard from a guy from some far away country you people from North America have got things messed up. I questioned the statement. He said in my country (and for the life of me I cannot remember he was from) we work enough to live. You guys live to work. People are too stressed here. The more I thought about that on my break he was right.

I wrote a post sometime ago relating to a bucket list. The whole premise around that is make a list of all the things and places you want to do or go to before you kick the bucket. I find it interesting that in today's society we are seeing more shows and concepts about people's lives, and what they are doing before they die. There seems to be one or two a year the golden reels kick out. Is it a question that some of these guys are producing projects so they can live to see their own lives on the big screen discreetly?

Either way it is a thought provoking 2 hours. So ponder if you like, but at the end of the day it is an interesting distraction in life's many questions. What if...?

Until next time...remember today is the last day of some of your life.

From the Big Ape

Friday, February 27, 2009

Friday's Funnies

I must admit there was a few giggles that crossed my computer desk that I just thought I needed to pass on. Everyone can use a laugh once and a while. With such turbulent times about us I thought everyone could stand to have their funny bone tickled!

Cat Lover or Not, this is Hysterical!

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss think s I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.
Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

'Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it.'

'You know where the button is,' I protested through the shower pitter-pa tter and steam. 'Reset it yourself!'

'But I'm scared!' she persisted. 'What if it starts going and sucks me in?'

There was a meaningful pause and then, 'C'mon, it'll only take you a second.'

So out I came, dripping wet and b utt naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behaviour as extremely cowardly.

Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a 'fight or flight' syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the 'flight' option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent.
The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.

Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of 'been-there, done-that' paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.

'What's the matter?' They all asked, 'Cat got your tongue?'
If they only knew!

Why is it that only the women laugh at this?

Then there is this one. The simpleness of a child's thoughts!

What, you ask, is 'Butt dust?' Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny ho w old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she 'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whisper ing in her mouth?'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

I hope this gets you kicked off on a smile filled weekend.

Until next time...I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge - myth is more potent than history - dreams are more powerful than facts - hope always triumphs over experience - laughter is the cure for grief - love is stronger than death”

From the Big Ape

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Don't hate the player, hate the game!

You know I was reading my local paper as I try to do daily. Now there is a hot button issue that seems to be getting people worked up in a real lather. Myself included I might add. The more I think about it though I truly believe we need to look at the bigger picture. Instead of getting pissed about certain criminals getting a specific sentence lets go talk to the people who make the laws. Lets lobby our government to push the laws that are already on the books. I think getting informed about matters is a great way to start. Making paper trails is imperative. Phone calls are too easily forgotten. Keeping a hot button issue alive after the media has gone onto the next big story of the week. One person can really make the difference. Look at Erin Brockovich, she single handedly brought down big business on a contamination matter.

The squeaky wheel get the grease, and the more people you can get to squeak with you is all the better. Look at the raging granny's. With today's technology it is pretty simple to write an email and BCC it to as many departments that you think applies to your problem. Google is a wonderful tool, use it. If you need to find out addresses just google . People can run, but they cannot hide. Well I think this is going to be a short post, but I hope that I have empowered you take a stand, and write your congress person, MLA,MP or even you mayor if you have an issue that is getting under your skin.

Until next time...remember if you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything!

From the Big Ape

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Is Our Justice System Going By The Same Direction As Common Sense Did?

Is the justice system dieing a slow painful death like common sense did? Pretty soon the system that we once knew and trusted is going to be eroded to just a whiff as it once was. Case in point is the young lady that killed her parents, and younger brother in Medicine Hat was back before the courts today to see how she was making out with her sentence. EXCUSE ME!!! It has only been a year, and we are seeing how the poor thing is making out! Give me a break!!!! She got a get out of jail free card as it was by getting the sentence that she did. Now we are going to parade her back in front of a judge once a year to see if anything should change. That is legal speak for if there is anything we can do sweety to make your life easier just ask. What a crock!! Her handlers say she is adapting well, but she is noted to have a failure to internalize — a term experts say generally means a lack of remorse. Ya think!!! Don't kid yourself boys and girls she is crazy like a fox! Now the sad part of this is she will be eligible for a half way house in 3 years, and free and clear to go and start her life in 7 years. Now before the bleeding hearts start her life is ruined before it really starts, as she is going to be living with this for the rest of her life. What kind of life is she really going to have? Well frankly I hope she has a hellish life. I guess at the end of the day she is going to face her judgment, and life on earth is going to be a cake walk compared to what she will face at the end.

You know the head line of today's paper reads; "Canada's youngest killer still 'seriously disturbed'" did people really think that she was going to be fixed in a year? A bigger question is do people really figure that they are going to have her fixed by the time her sentenced has expired? Wow if they do please send them my way as I have some nice ocean front property for sale in Siberia that I can sell them!

Then there is her little puppet. The poor sap that they called her boy friend. Well there is many emotions that come to mind when we talk about him, but I will say I do feel sorry for him in one way. That is I think he truly did believe in his simple little mind that if he did this for her that she would love him, and they could go off and live happily ever after. It is so unfortunate that his mind was that simple to think that it was going to work that way. Now on the aspect that he was attracted to a 12 year old girl when he was 23 is a whole new kettle of fish. That is statutory rape not to mention just wrong on so many different levels.

It will be interesting to see if they will be able to reprogram the puppet master (the label I have for the girl) to not associate with her accomplice once she is out of jail, and free and clear. Really when you think about he will be out when he is 51. They still could have a relationship. As sick as that sounds more excepted in today's society then when they were young. I know with following the case when it was through the courts he had a very strong following on line. So I am sure if she has moved on he could shack up with one of his groupies. I guess you could lump him into the Canadian version of Charlie Manson. That just goes to show you the difference between the justice systems. If Charlie Manson would have done what he did in Canada he would have been out in 25 years. A scary thought when you think about it!

Until Nest time..."Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning."

Cheers from The Big Ape

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

We need to be careful what we wish for!

Edmonton mayor wants to control sale of knives is the latest headline to grace the news paper. Now I am very aware of the crime involving knives have increased, but I don't think that we need to throw the baby out with the bath water here! Look at the mess that the gun registry has made for honest Canadians. I truly feel that it has made criminals out of honest citizens! Do you really think that if I was going to commit a crime that I am going to care where the weapon has come from? Oh dear I cannot pull this bank robbery as this gun is registered! Tongue in cheek..... Again there is too many questions that pop up in this idea of a knife registry. Who is going to enforce, what size is not going to be legal? These are all questions that just cost money. I have a better idea why don't we give some teeth to the laws that we have on the books already. The bigger question that I have brought up before is if they pass this legislation what is next? Motor vehicle accidents are killing people, we need to ban Ford trucks because they are the biggest contributor to the accidents. You laugh, and tell me that I am going too far. Am I? Call me an alarmist, but I think we need to be aware of the bigger picture. At the end of the day we need to inform our politicians we will not stand for laws being created like this. One step further to this is the special interest groups that support this type of legislation need to be out squeaked! They say that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Well I say that we make more noise then the special interest groups that want these controlling laws. So consider this to be the first squeak to kick things off!

Until next time... "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner."

Cheers from the Big Ape

Monday, February 23, 2009

What is considered art?

Now like the title reads what is considered art? What one might consider art others might consider garbage. Where do you display your art? Well depending on what you consider art is where you or what you can display your art on. Some people collect framed pictures and paintings, some collect sculptures and figurines,I personally collect all of the above, but I have one more thing I collect, and that is tattoo's. Now some tattoos are not for me, and that is fine. There is some paintings and figurines that are not of my taste also. Now with that being said that does not mean that they are bad, they are just not of my liking. Now I can personally say there is some tattoos that I find distasteful, but there is also some paintings and sculptures that I can fill in that category too. So I am not here to judge. What ever works for you. The thing I try and tell people when it comes to tattoos is remember, never put things on your body that you would be ashamed of when you are 80. Now try and explain to your grandchildren why you have a skull with a penis hanging out of an eye socket. Now you get my point! Too many people live in the now, and don't think what this going to be like for them in 5,10 or 15 years down the road. It might have been all the rage when you were 19, and taking a stand against the world. When you are 40, and working for a company as a CEO that same tattoo might be considered distasteful. Now yes bad ideas can be removed, but it is costly and painful.

Now there is one way to cover up mistakes, but it still leaves a tattoo. That is cover up's. Now the other thing is that I really must stress you need to find a tattoo artist that you can trust your life with. I am very serious about that. In today's world of so many diseases resulting from blood and body fluid you need to make sure that your artist is very sterile in their operations. It could be the difference between catching something, and living or dieing.

I truly think that a tattoo should not be a spur of the moment idea. You need to plan. Plan on what you want. Plan on where it is going to go, Plan on who is going to do it. Believe me when I say you get what you pay for in this case! if it is a 40 dollar tattoo it is going to be a so so job. the other thing is don't think little is really the way to go either. REMEMBER in 20 or so years skin tends to break down and shrivel, and depending on how much you have looked after them, will depend how they look.

It's all about the pain, the ink and jewelery are just souvenirs! LOL Does it hurt? I am asked that all the time. My answer is no. Irritating yes, painful no! Again that is all relative though. As I have been sitting in shops and you see a 6th month old baby get their ears pierced and make less fuss then a 300Lb ugly ass biker getting a tattoo on his arm. So that tells you it all depends on the person. Now I will say there is some places that it is more sensitive then others. Anywhere there is more bone then fatty tissue it is going to be more painful. So it tends to be more sensitive on the rib area, or ankle area, or head. Unless you are like me, a crusty old ape then it does not matter where you go it as you are going to be searching for a while to find my bones. LOL Now I will admit there is some places even a crusty old ape will not get a tattoo. The tongue, eye lids, genital area(I don't care how much you pay me! I am not getting a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my penis so I can watch my money just is not going to happen!!)

Now what happens when you have tattoos, and are in a long term relationship? Then the relationship ends. Now some people find tattoos sexy, but others are not sure or turned off. Is that really fair? They are not even giving you a chance as a person. They see the ink, and think that you are some biker or trailer trash depending on your gender that is drug infested, and trying to rule the world. You know you have heard all of the stereo types. I will admit that stereo types are fading a lot. Now you see just as many seniors in the shops getting work done as you do young people. The shop I frequent Tattoo-U has done people as old as 70 something. If you are ever in the Medicine Hat area you really need to check Tattoo-U out. Drop in and buy Sue a green tea. Tell her the Big Ape sent you!

Now there is people that have piercings. I to have my left ear pierced. Yes it was a mid life crisis act, that I did when I turned 35. Some people go out and have affairs, or buy sports cars. I was different I went out and got another tattoo, and my ear pierced. Now piercings I will leave at just one. Sorry no nipple, tongue, nose or genital piercings for this crusty old ape. That is where I draw the line. For other people if that is what gets your Mojo going... to each their own!

Now branding and scarification is just another twist in the sub-culture to being different. I must admit I do not think there is much of that happening in the Medicine Hat area. Although Sue at Tattoo-U has done this stuff when she worked down south. She says it is not something she has done for a while. Now you can be like her son. He wanted to have his tongue forked. Now she decided to do it, because she has heard of people being butchered so she thought better she did it for him, knowing it was going to be done right. Rather then being done improperly, and him dieing from infection somewhere or worse bleeding out. When asked why his tongue to be forked the response was; "well everybody has tattoo's, a lot of people have piercings, but how may people do you know that have a forked tongue?" Now for the record Sue does not normally do the forked tongues in her shop. With that being said if you have a lot of money... well money talks!

So it is a case some people buy art and put it on a shelf or on the wall. I just choose to put it on my body and bring it with me every where I go. Click here and get some ideas from the tattoo blog.

Until next time remember Show me a person with a tattoo, and I’ll show you a person with an interesting past.

Cheers from The Big Ape. :-)

Saturday, February 21, 2009


Well I am not the television type, but if I was I would have wrote this commercial. Picture me sitting in my cage swinging on my tire swing. I could have never wrote this any better. Now that you have that creative image in your brain read on...

I am in the minority in Calgary , Vancouver , Toronto, and every casino in this country. I was born in the forties, fifties or sixties, yet I am somehow responsible for some First Nations people being screwed out of their land in the 1700's!

I pay import tax on cars made in Ontario.

I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but not allowed to drive without a seat belt.

All the money I make until mid July must go to paying taxes.

I live and work among people who believe Americans are Ignorant.... These same people cannot name this country's new territory.

On April 1st, 1999, the map of Canada changed for the first time in 50 years with the creation of Nunavut Territory. The Northwest Territories was split and approximately 2 million square kilometers of the central and eastern arctic became 'Nunavut'.

Although I am sometimes forced to live on hamburgers and don't have a pot to pee in, I sleep well knowing that my taxes helped purchase a nice six figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled refugee.

Although they are unpatriotic and constantly try to separate... Quebec still provides most of my nation's prime ministers.

95% of my nation's international conflicts are over fish.

I'm supposed to call black people African Canadians, although I'm sure none of them have ever been to Africa for that matter.

I am being told that paying a 200% tax on alcohol is fair.

I am also being told that the same tax on gasoline is also fair.

Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my Grandfather gave me when I was 14, I will be considered a criminal if I don't register it.

I am being told that spending $15 billion to promote the French language in the rest of Canada is fair when the province of Quebec doesn't support or recognize the English language.

I am being told that paying $1million for 3 Stripes ('The Voice of Fire' painting in Ottawa ) by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though 99% of this country didn't want it or will ever see it.

When I look at my pension and realize that I take home a third of what I actually make, I say 'Oh well, at least we have better health care than the Americans.'

I must bail out big corporations who drive their business into the ground and say yeah that's ok when they move all their manufacturing plants and jobs to a third world country and say no problem.

My National Anthem has versions in both official languages.

Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest Military buffer for the United States, and the number one destination for fleeing terrorists.

I am not a crusty old ape.

I am an angry taxpayer who is broke.

I am Canadian !!!

I know there was a beer commercial similar to this a few years ago, but it was pretty political correct. I am a redneck primate that does not believe in political correctness so this is my version!

Until next time........
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Cheers From The Big Ape.....

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Can You Hear Me Now?

Now I hear from media reports again that there was an accident in Calgary yesterday between a pedestrian, and their light rail train. Now the person succumbed to their injuries this morning. Now the kicker to this is they are investigating the fact maybe the person in question may have had ear buds in, and did not hear the train that hit them. Well I must admit I do feel for the family that lost the loved one, but you do have to wonder what that person was thinking, or how loud was that Ipod that you could not hear a 70 ton train with it's horn blaring rumble down the tracks. As I have talked about in a recent post this is where common sense applies. You should not zone out to the point that you lose yourself in society when you need to be an active participant. We all know common sense died a slow death So everything has to be taught to you in today's society. Now when I was a young primate; dumb, young, and full of banana's I used to listen to music 3 octaves below oh my god make your ears bleed. My mother used to tell me I made her liver jump every time she passed by my cage. Both parents used to preach to me; "you know you are going to need hearing aids when your older, because you listen to that music way too loud!" That was not bad enough I used to work in the libation industry, and it was not uncommon at all to come home after spending 8 or 10 hours at work, and be in the house in the peace and quite for over a hour, and still have my ears ringing (and sadly nobody was up stairs to answer). When I heard the commercial in the USA for the cell phone company when the guy wanders all over asking; "can you hear me now?" I nearly fell off my rope swing! I don't think it is because of reception issues. I think it is because of the younger generation is going deaf! Now I am going to sound like the grey hair society; "I remember when..."

Now I think music is all about quality not quantity, now the sad part of it is. I now need the quantity too because I am deaf as a stump or as I say; "no dear I am not deaf. I just have selective hearing!" I just choose to tune you out most of the time! THEN THE FIGHT BEGINS!!! LMAO

In all seriousness I see this being a very slippery slope where it should be a case of common sense should prevail. As Jeff Foxworthy calls it; "The Redneck Factor, what does not kill you makes you stronger!" As sad as it is maybe this is a way of society cleaning out the gene pool. What scares me if the government gets involved and try's to legislate us into having common sense. I ask WHY is it that if we as society is not smart enough to look after each other the government thinks it needs to write a new law to make us clue in. Now lets start with the enforcement agencies already have enough to do! Trying to keep up with the laws that are on the books. Not to mention the other point is what is going to be considered too loud? How are we going to check? Like I was talking about selective hearing. I think that is a prerequisite of the little hormone receptacles of today. Now with their baggy ass jeans, and hats turned sideways like they should be riding the short bus. (Just to set the record straight I hold no malice against the special needs of North America!)their Ipod or what other communicative tool of that week that they just have to have or they will die!! The screams of soul sucking tunes wafting out of the ear buds creating sounds like a barrel of monkeys having an orgy in that blank space they call a head. I know that statement makes me sound like a geriatric angel, but I just don't get the younger generations music, but that is for another posting. The bottom line is stand up and make it be known that you as Joe Public will not stand for the Government trying to act in our best interest to legislate common sense. Tell them to leave the idea of Banning Ear Bud For Public Use alone!!!

It is a tough world out there Sparky! So you have to stand up, and think for yourself! You need to realize common sense is important, don't do things that are going to kill you before your number is called!

Until next time....When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the other passengers in his car.

Cheers from The Big Ape :-)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


What is the first thing you learn when you get in the real estate game. Location is everything. Now why do you ask why I am pondering that thought. No I am not going to become a real estate agent, especially in these turbulent times. Alas location is not only important in buying and selling property. It is also important when you commit crime too! Yep your eyes are not playing tricks on you! Depending on what side of the 49th parallel you live on, and I am going to go even one step further as to what province you live in, it will depend on what your sentence is going to be. Now call me foolish, but if you commit the same crime in Gander Newfoundland or Victoria BC your sentence should be the same. Call me crazy to expect something like that, but in my book you do the crime you do the time, regardless where you are. Now I now know that when it comes to our big brothers to the south, crime is crime down there. For the most part you screw up down there you are going to get what coming to you. It is unfortunate that some of the Northern States are starting to adopt some of our mamby pamby laws to water down the system. A state that I can really support is Texas. They are a no nonsense state. Some people want to abolish the death penalty. They are putting in an express lane to speed up the process! Now that is my kinda state!!!!!!! One Sheriff/Warden down there says there will not be any over crowding in prison he made a tent city on the grounds, and houses them outside. Hey they are not there to sing camp fire songs, and have a pajama party. These people are there to think about what they have done, and be reminded what they done was wrong. Society does not approve what you did, and if you are a little bit uncomfortable during your stay; suck it up buttercup, and put your big boy pants on as this is the big leagues! A time out if you will. Now I know you can say it is a revolving door. You are right it is, but there is many social economic factors that plays into that whole equation. What really got my goat on this whole subject is two stories I have heard about in the last week.

Story one...A friend of mine has a Methadone Clinic in Calgary. Now this Clinic is no different then any other doctors office, other than these people have addiction problems. Now addiction is no different than cancer,heart disease you get the picture. Anyway they had been at one location for some time public pressure from area neighbors put enough public pressure on the land lord when the clinic's lease came up they got a road map and an apple, and was sent packing. Now they seem to have the same problem moving every two or three years. Now you say just buy a building, and be done with it. Well that is not so easy either for a couple of reasons 1. this is a business that runs a very tight budget as these people are addicts they do not have a lot of money. The clinic is not government sponsored! So we all say that these type of agencies are imperative until it comes time for them to set up shop in your neighbourhood, then it is a public hell of a blue because these people are addicts, and will lower my property values if they are seen in our neighbourhoods. 2. City regulations on owning is a touchy subject too. I call BULLSHIT!!!!! people you cannot have it both ways... do you want our social issues looked after? Then give them the room to do their job! There I feel better! I wish the clinic the best of luck! Bill is the most down to earth, and nicest man you will ever meet. He would give you his last sandwich or shirt off his back if he knew you needed it more then he did. People like him just do not come around everyday!

Story two...A guy in London Ontario was sentenced to two years in jail for a home invasion robbery. He was sentenced to robbing a man that was wheel chair bound of his medical marijuana, and what ever else he decided was shiny enough to claim as his own. Well all I can say to this guy is he is lucky that I am not his jailer. The only people that are lower then this pond scum is people that mess with kids or steal from church's or old people. Whether I believe in the medical marijuana situation is for another posting, but you are basically stealing the guys meds. Not to mention the trauma that it has caused him, and his family when the whole situation went down.Two years would have just been a warm up. Add another 8 or 10 to it, and then I think we are getting close to teaching someone a lesson, and a fair time out!

Then again opinions are like certain parts of the body. We each have one, just some are bigger than others.

Until next time..... Remember girls are like phones. They love to be held, talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

From the Big Ape

Monday, February 16, 2009

Where Did Common Sense Go?

As I sit, and ponder at times. I look at today's issues, and wonder where did common sense go? Common Sense used to be something that was just a given. Now it seems that it has been lost some where. The gene that created it has been damaged! Now the younger generation need to be taught common sense. The sad part of this process, not all people that should be teaching it have got it down pat themselves. It used to be common sense that you did not put a fork in a wall socket. No one had to teach you, you just knew. Now you laugh, but if you don't tell the up and coming darlings of the world we are going to be running around with a bunch of curly haired hormone receptacles with smoke coming out of their ears, and a faint twitch. What scares me even more is these are the people that are going to running our country in 10 to 15 years. Now before you parents start sending me hate mail I know there is some good kids out there, but remember how much work they have been to get to that stage! You know how much your kid likes home work, now are they are going to spend that much time on their kids? Point taken, I will chalk my point up now. Then there is the people that one thinks they should have common sense when they get into certain situations common sense seems to run out their ears like last weeks ear wax. You know who you are! The guy that stops for a beer that turns into 1:30AM Saturday morning. Then you have wisdom to let Fred drive you home because you were too drunk to drive. That is so much better as Fred started drinking 1 hour after you did! Then there is the great political people of the world. They can be the most balanced people you meet until they make one trip to the capital regardless if it is provincial or federal. There again that common sense gets sucked out of them quicker then a dust bunny at a hover convention. I would like to share something that was written by a lady from New Brunswick:

This was written by a Canadian woman, but oh how it also applies to the U.S. , U.K. and Australia


Here is a woman who should run for Prime Minister!

Written by a housewife in New Brunswick , to her local newspaper. This is one ticked off lady.

'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001 and have continually threatened to do so since?

Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from the nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ?/

/Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?/

/And I'm supposed to care that a few Taliban were claiming to be tortured by a justice system of the nation they come from and are fighting against in a brutal insurgency.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere belief of which is a crime punishable by beheading in Afghanistan .

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Afghanistan come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blows themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the Canadian media stops pretending that their freedom of speech on stories is more important than the lives of the soldiers on the ground or their families waiting at home to hear about them when something happens.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a CANADIAN soldier roughing up an Insurgent terrorist to obtain information, know this:

I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank:

I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and 'fed special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts:

I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn you guessed it,

I don't care!!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behaviour!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:

'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Soldiers don't have that problem.'

I have another quote that I would like to add, AND.......I hope you forward all this.

One last thought for the day:

Only five defining forces have ever offered to die for you:

1. Jesus Christ

2. The Canadian Soldier.

3. The British Soldier.

4. The US Soldier, and

5. The Australian Soldier

One died for your soul, the other 4 for your freedom.

Well I don't think I can add much to that other than if she runs for Prime Minister she has got my vote!

Until next time. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks,

so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

Cheers from the big ape.....

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Do We Have The Right To Die?

I watched a news program last evening that touched on a very hot button issue in Canada. Who has the right to die? Suicide is a real hot button issue with the religious crowd. They say you do not have the right to die, only God controls that right. He makes us he takes us. If we force his hand we will burn in hell for doing so. HEY, don't shoot the messenger I just am repeating what has been told to me! There is a society in Canada called the Right To Die Society. A group of people have created a non profit society to lobby government to change the laws to allow euthanasia and assisted suicide. Now there is all sorts of questions that pop up as to who should be allowed, if they did legalize this act,who should perform the act,who should the act be performed on? These are just a few points that come flying to the forefront of this very volatile subject.

Some ask where I sit on this subject. Well it is not a black and white issue with me. If I totally excepted Christianity it would be a hands down concept. We do not have the right to take our life or help one take there own life. I guess this is one of the few subjects I really struggle with, and this really makes me question my devotion. As I do see some issues that this could be applied to, and be alright in my books. Would I or could I do something like this? Well again depending on the situation Yes I could be found in that situation, and do it. Could I do it for myself? You bet!!! I want to die with dignity! There is times now that I really question whether taking an extended nap would not be a better choice. It is all about emotion verses logic. If you are in the right frame of mind logic says it is not right for some people to help someone or for a person to take their own life. Then you mix emotion in and it gets really messy. there is a question of dignity. What is an exceptable quality of life?

If I contract an illness where it is proven there is no doubt that I would not survive any modern medical intervention, yes I would be inclined to choose the day that I leave this world. As I said earlier I want to die with dignity. Is it really any different than a woman choosing the day she wants her child to be born? Lots of kids are being brought in by C section. Why can we not choose our death date? Now I agree if it is physios that is the reason for this decision it is not the answer. I believe that it should be medical regulated. There should be a professional from the physc department, and two doctors to have the act completed. This is not a decision that can be made just over a few days. Then again you cannot drag it out to the point you can't make the decision yourself.

Having a personal directive is the step in the right direction. Why can it not be a form that is attached to the personal directive paper work. I also think that it should be a given that any donations that can be made from your body should be mandatory. Kind of a give and take if you will.

I am going to share a couple of stories to further murky the water. My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She was given 9 to 12 months to live. Now during that 12 months they can make you comfortable, but you slowly dwindle away to nothing while the disease ravages your body. As it did with my Mother. Now tell me that when you watch someone you love dwindle and suffer to nothing you would not believe in euthanasia.
Now the other twist to the subject is when a baby is born, and it has profound issues. To what means do we as adults and professionals keep this baby alive? Not to mention what this child will feel while it grows if it is able to feel. The stress it puts on the parents or the medical system is incredible.

I really think there is two sides to every coin, and in this case that coin I think is constantly spinning. Which ever side you sit on this subject it is not a easy choice. In my case I think each situation requires careful thinking. At the end of the day what feels right will happen. Sometimes you have to have courage for your convictions.

Until next time....

Cheers from the big ape!!!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Who Predicts Winter?

Well as we sit her on February 2nd we wait on the Ground Hog to tell us if winter is going to continue or not. So what do these little weather prognosticators (now there is the word of the week boys and girls! For the record I spelled it right the first time too!!!)((I guess it pays to read Websters before going to bed each night!)) do in order to tell us sun starved creatures of the frozen north what our cold fate is going to be. Believe it or not it is whether they see their shadow or not. If they see their shadow winter is sticking around, if they do not then we are right around the corner from spring. Well if you ask me whether he did or did not see his shadow the big ape in the jungle could have told you that there was going to be six more weeks of winter. I can honestly say that for Medicine Hat any way. How do I know you ask? Well I am not just another dumb primate it is gong to take at least six weeks to get rid of all the snow in my back yard! As I stand there a matter a factually with my chest For the record all the weird little rodents seen their shadow so no matter where you live in North America you are destined for six more weeks of winter Sorry!

So I know I am probably dating myself , but do you remember when you were in school you used to listen to the principle read the school announcements over the public address system then there would be the Lords Prayer and Oh Canada. Well before I finished school the Lords Prayer went by the wayside, but we always had Oh Canada. Well a school in New Brunswick, Canada has been ordered to reinstate the National Anthem back in to the morning activities. I guess a couple of years a go a couple of parents approached this principle and stated that they felt that it disrupted the class and took them too long to get settled down afterward so they wanted it banned. Go figure, I guess they were important to this principle how? Anyway I guess mum was the word on this until one of the children had informed a visitor of a serviceman of this and she went to the department of education and jumped up and down to the point where it got national attention, and the minister of education and defense read this principle the riot act as we need to feel unity in this time of uncertainty. So now we have the national anthem back in the school system in that New Brunswick school. So tell me the squeaky wheel does not get the grease or least national attention to get things done!

So tell me because President Obama said they would win the super bowl does that mean that he has it all together, and can lead the world into the next generation of positiveness? Or did he just get lucky? Well whether you like him or not he is what the ladies want, and the men want to be like. He is calm,cool,and collected. He just as that aura about him. I just can't put my finger on it. He just has this peace about him. Now I have read some things that scare me when it comes in what he believes in, but time is going to be the best teacher. I think just as he is the President, and we have the Prime Minister here in Canada I believe they are just the puppets of the system. They are just the face to the giant system there is a whole army of people behind the scenes that are getting things done. Obama is just the pretty face that either looks good or bad depending on the story at hand for the American people to put a face to the problem. A scape goat if you will. Well time will tell if he is able to get the USA back up and firing on all cylinders to be the once super power that it was. Personally I think that it is so damaged that it is going to take more then just one person 4 years to right that ship.

I guess there is hope for me yet. Fellow blogger Perez Hilton better known as the gossip gangster is getting 9 million hits a day on her blog. All she does is dish the dirt on celebrities, and as quick as you can say Bob is your uncle you too can be famous! I guess she has written a book too. So next time you are wanting to learn what is happening in tinsel town check out Perez's site. Well I am only at about 30 hits per day now, but maybe some day I too can piss somebody off enough to get mentioned on the golden globes and watch out my popularity will sky rocket. I guess her book tells people how to be famous maybe I should go read it. The only problem with that is I would probably only be famous in my own mind. lol

Well I better swing back to the jungle, but until next time remember; men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

From the Big Ape