Monday, January 26, 2009

Hello From the Frozen North

You know how it is when you go down to the USA and they hear you are from Canada they ask all those silly questions about the ice and snow. Well I think that laughing at them for their funny questions have came back to haunt us! Dam is it cold out there!!! Being I am of the primate persuasion certain parts of my anatomy have frozen off and are being kept in a jar of antifreeze for safe keeping until warmer weather arrives. I figure at this rate I might be able to reattach them about June. LOL Well not much has been happening in the old Jungle other then the primal job of keeping warm in this hellish weather. Come to think of it, if it was a bit more like Haties we would not be so cold! Well being I have no real news of late I thought I would share a couple of E-Funnies I have received as of late that stroked my funny bone.
This first one I can see this being me although I do not see myself as much of a cowboy I do see myself as a dumb redneck that would do this so here it goes:

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.

'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.
'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.

So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.

I yelled, 'Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the shit out of all of you!'

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Just a couple minutes ago...'

Now for those of you that truly know me does that not have my name written all over that!!!!

Now I wish I could call this lady my relative, but I guess she could be a surrogate aunt. My friend and yours solving lifes problems once again...Maxine.

BEST political statement in a long time.
Maxine for President or Prime Minister
This is Maxine.

Everyone concentrates on the problems we are having in this country lately:
illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida.
Not me, I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It is a win-win situation.
+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.
+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.
Are there any other problems you would like me to solve today?

Think about this one:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
Cows - Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow ,
epidemic our government could track a single cow,
born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the ,
state of Washington?
And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million ,
illegal aliens wandering around our country.
Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
The Constitution - They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ....
Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys,
it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.
The 10 Commandments - The real reason that we cannot have the,
Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,'
'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and
'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...
It creates a hostile work environment.

Now do you not think that if we had more people like her that was running both the governments in Canada and the USA we would be better for it? I do!!!

Well my fingers are starting to freeze again time to go throw another log on the fire, and go thaw out the front window to see that dog sled that carries the mail when it comes by!

Until next time stay warm and remember I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Just to show our friends to the south what cold is:
-24 C with a wind chill of -35 C converting it for our friends to the south -24 C is -11 F with a wind chill of -31 F. Now I know why our friends to the south like the old school method. It does not sound as bad when you are giving the bad news! LOL

From The Big Ape

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Are you calm and submissive?

Well I have been thinking about some of the great leaders in the world. What makes them so great? Am I any different? How do these people act in public? Now we all know what happens in the public eye sometimes does not happen behind closed doors. For now we are going to assume that people are the same in all occasions. I know I can hear everyone now!!! That is going to come back and haunt you like last nights garlic sausage! For the simplicity of this first exercise we are going to live the simple life. Maybe it is just me, maybe I make people more complicated then they really are. I have been privileged to get to watch Cesar Millan on television lately. Cesar is known as the dog whisperer. He talks about being calm and submissive. What does that term mean. Well when I was taking my training in counseling the first thing we learned was acting calm around people no matter how fired up they are. Try it some time, it is very amazing to see it work in action. When you think about it the last time you got angry if the other person was not buying into your anger people start to deescalate because of your calmness to the point they return to calmness, and forget why they were even angry. Suddenly that anger point is not so important all of a sudden. Cesar also brings a point that we as humans can learn from. Animals live in the now. They do remember the past, but given consistent behavior things start to change. The future is not even in their mind set. We as humans create the mind set as we are smart enough to expect more. Is being too smart for own good a down fall in this case? When talking to people especially when people are emotionally charged they will say; "you never", or "I always" do or not do something. REALLY I often question those statements, and hey I have even done it many times in the heat of the moment. We as humans by nature are generally not 100% consistent every time. It might be only a little variance, but there is some change. We are not machines. Only robots do things the same way every time. So that is the next point to the statement deescalate the situation and you should have submission. Now the key to this is consistency. I know the major lesson in life is don't buy into the behavior, and be assertive and consistent in your actions. You know I would have friends and people I talk to ask; "how do you work in an environment were people act differently?" What is normal I ask? I have always been one to question life, and its actions. So for today I am going to leave you with up coming posts in the future working off the calm, submissive to carry on in a balanced life. I guess this is called healing in the now. You and I can heal together.

Until text time remember:
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
George Carlin

From The Big ape

Monday, January 12, 2009

Where Do You Get Your Media?

Well we have slipped into 2009 quietly, but stead fast. Depending on what part of the world that you lived in this might have been a literal statement. In my part if the world we have battled the cold and snow for about 4 weeks now. Now it is time to get our traction, and make our way into 2009 with careless abandon. Now as the title asks where do you get your media or news? News is a funny thing. We can get news from our spouse, or family from what they heard on the radio from their drive home from an outing in the vehicle. Maybe you are a bit more first hand and watch the news sometime during the day. Is sitting down with your favorite beverage and relaxing over the newspaper your thing? Well with the computer age being in our face how many of you get your news from the internet? There is sites that specializes in news like google news or various other sites that you might gravitate to. Do we have to pay attention to the old saying only believe half of what you read, and part of what you see. Now what about blogging? Like what you are reading now. Do you consider this a news source? I guess one has to ask what is news. The Webster dictionary reads as this:

1 a: a report of recent events b: previously unknown information

So some might say that blogging could be considered a news source then. Well it stuck me funny recently when I was surfing around the other day on the super highway of technology called the internet. Now you have to appreciate with my situation as it is I spend a considerable amount of time whiling the hours away surfing. Now I came across a statement the other day of Blogging we are going to need more monkeys. Actually here is the picture associated. I think they just took a picture of breakfast at my last family reunion! LOL

Now that kind of unintentionally plays off of the words of the Big Ape and my blogging, that kind of struck me funny. I started to think about this statement more. How does blogging master in to the media game. Is the idea of media being washed out and diluted because of the super highway, or is it a help to get information to us more easily?

One has to keep in mind it is so easy to post anything you want online anymore. There is some places like wikipedia an on-line encyclopedia. The neat part of this is it can be corrected by the people or added to also. The online moderators are pretty quick to correct something that has been wrongly posted. Now you are probably thinking what is stopping someone from making a personal attack on the site and posting hateful or hurtful information. Well once again the moderators job comes to play to keep this type of activity cleaned up and keep the information righted, and they do a great job! So is blogging a credible source for news, or is it just a bunch of apes beating their chests wanting to be be heard? Now you may or may not know the internet can lead us to information on how to build a bomb to the latest sports scores on your hometown sports team. The key is knowing where to go at the right times.

Well media is kind of a personal quest. What ever blows your hair back or in my case what ever blows up my kilt. AS long as it is warm air, all is good. I am stiff enough thanks! grin.......
So in conclusion I think the media is a very valuable source that can be used to ones advantage. Sometimes that may be a sinister activity, but either way you fly it can act swiftly and directly like a coiled cobra in a pen full of mongooses.

So where ever you get your news may it all be good!

Remember :
Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia

From The Big Ape