Saturday, March 5, 2011

I Am Feeling Naked!

Well I am feeling a bit naked right now. I have become unplugged so to speak and I am feeling naked because of it. The Android phone has give up the ghost so after pain staking 1.5 hours on the phone with Motorola we decided it was best to send it in and have it worked on. See you in 10 days to 2 weeks. Then part two to the naked I have left the world of Microsoft. I am tired of being held hostage. Now I am still going to keep my net-book in the windows world just so I am not totally out of the loop. I am just sick and tired of windows digging in my back pocket every time I turn around wanting more money to prop up their programs. In the world of Linux 80% and I am being optimistic when I say that I can find those programs for free and not getting them illegal I might add. So this is going to be a short and sweet post today. I must admit I am having some growing pains as far as the learning curve on this one, but hey maybe you can teach old apes new tricks!

So I have gray just about all white hair so now it means I go bald again if I pull it all out trying to learn a new subject. Wish me luck..or better yet Mellody luck as she has to put up with my grumbles from behind the screen.

Until next time

From a Grumpy Old Ape

Monday, February 21, 2011

Live By The Sword Die By the Sword!

I turn on my TV first thing this family day morning to hear that 3 people perish in a snow mobile accident or better put an avalanche. This had happened in Central British Columbia, Golden to be exact. Now what these people were doing was marking their territory with their sleds. They run as far as they can, and then have the machine either top over the top of a hill or cliff, or fall over backwards and cause a backslide of snow better known as an avalanche. Now some people are equipped with transceivers and beacons others are not that smart and they go in with nothing. I ask what should we do with these extreme adrenaline junkies? They cost our emergency evacuation groups large dollars to come save this person or people.

Now I do not say people do not have a right at their fun. I just ask to what cost is that fun dictated? I think if you want this kind of fun you should have a stand by rescue team ready, and waiting to dig your butt out of the snow when that avalanche falls down on your head. Now lets talk about whether it should be a mandatory occurrence that you wear the necessary equipment, and what fines are charged against you if they find you without it on. Now there is the bigger picture of death, but people have understand if you do not wear the equipment you are signing your own death warrant and could be charged accordingly.

Now there is the sad times of the family that lost there loved ones, and there is friends and co-workers that struggle with that loss, but as my title states you live by the sword, and Die By The Sword! If you want to play in those extreme sports you have to be aware that they come at a consequence. Your loved ones have to be prepared that there may be a day that you may go out and not come home. The famous last words I heard on a news cast the other day; "people die every day so if you can die doing something you love that is the only way to go!" Spoken by an extreme adrenalin junkie. Don't they have an special air about them?

The last subject I want to touch on is helmets. Now you might find me a real hypocrite on this one as I don't think helmets make much difference whether it be on a ski hill or on a motorcycle. Now by law I have to wear one on a bike, and you can bet it is the smallest I can get away with legally, because when you bounce off the ground or pavement at any speed all the helmet is there to do is make your head look pretty at the end of the day. Your brain is still going to look like jello if you make that big bounce if it is on a ski hill or on the hi-way. Case in point a gentleman from Ontario had a helmet on runs into tree dead as nit. So tell me what good did that helmet do? Now if he would have not had the helmet on the end result would have been the same except we can feel sorry for him because he took all the precautions. END RESULT PEOPLE HE IS STILL DEAD! Damn the animal kingdom can be cruel but none the less it weeds out the gene pool doesn't. Another short story I had a cousin that hit a tree head on with a full face helmet on a motor cycle doing approx. 25 miles per hour when he hit that tree you would have thought that helmet would have saved him. The base of the helmet was driven in David's neck and it snapped it clean. So tell me where helmets make a difference?

Well I feel better now I think I have probably ruffled enough peoples feathers. So remember not to eat yellow snow in the winter that is your tip of the week!

I am going to wander back in the jungle so:


From the Crusty Old Ape

Thursday, February 3, 2011

A Solution To the Problem...

I would like to start off to say that I am writing this and it is against my moral fiber, but at some point we need to take a stand in society to make a stand. This is one of those times! Some of you may remember Tienanmen Square. Now some might say that was wrong others may say it was well deserved either way 400 to 800 people perished that day in 1989. Now I come from a spiritual background and killing senseless people is not what I believe in, but as I said earlier one needs to take a stand!

So when we see issues like Egypt or Iran, Japan, or were ever a solution needs to be found and eradicated. How much time has to pass before one brings in the army and blast the living shit out of them to set a precedent. So the next time these Jack offs decide to make their latest protest they will think twice.

We need to follow China when they are sentenced to life in prison they are taken out back and a bullet is put in their head. In India you steal they chop off your hand! The shock factor sends a message that this stuff cannot continue!

So now that I have vented I can say there needs to be a solution to the problem! The guidelines are set so if the peons of the free world want to act out they know what their end result will be. Tell you as I may people will take note if we send people to take care of business!

Now on a calmer note I am going to wonder back to the jungle and have a great day, and weekend.
Until next time remember opinions are like noses everyone has one just some are bigger then others.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Rodent Has Spoken!

Well As we sit here at -9 with a wind chill of -18 A the rodents of the world have spoken. Residents in Central and Eastern Canada tired of icy temperatures and heavy snowfall in recent weeks may be interested to know that two famous Canadian groundhogs predict an early spring.

Nova Scotia's Shubenacadie Sam and Ontario's Wiarton Willie both predicted an early spring on Groundhog Day Wednesday.

Folklore has it that if a groundhog sees his shadow on Groundhog Day he'll flee to his burrow, heralding six more weeks of winter, and if he doesn't, it means spring is around the corner.

Balzac Billy did not see his shadow so he was the only one that that went against the grain. So as folklore has it we will have 6 more weeks of winter. Really that is kind of a good thing, because if spring started right away you and I not would be freezing our brass balls off we would be building the ark and flooding our way over the 49th parallel.

Environment Canada notes it's another six weeks until winter is officially over -- despite today's furry prediction.

You know I have made an observation as I watch the news out west we seem to handle the frozen wasteland just fine. The poor people to the eastern provinces they seem to be getting hammered with snow and cold, and they seem to take it like it the Maritimers that they are. The Folks to the west they seem pretty soft too. It is us prairie folk that can take a storm face on and bare our teeth with grit, and say we are tough old shit's. The poor eastern folks in Toronto they are softer then the Pillsbury doe boy. They can't drive in the white stuff and PLEASE if it gets below -10 they frozen to the dock of the day. It is a good thing I guess to live in the prairies!

Well it is time to get this off to press so I am going to wonder off in the snow white forest!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Who is The Media?

As I sit back and watch the troubles in Egypt, and various other problems throughout the world I wonder out loud who really is the media in all these worldly up risings? You have Skype, You tube, and various other left wing media types then you have the normal media type of CNN, CBS, ABC then you have the extreme right with MSNBC or Fox news. Then one has the guy on the street corner taking video with his camera phone they call that viral video which usually finds a home on You- Tube at some point.

Then we have the issue of print media and the picture game with the paparazzi. I ask who or what has fair right to this mess. Again I ask what is really media? When we buy a newspaper is that the only media that that we should follow? Then there is the TV news I will give you an experiment. Take an issue that would be seen either right across the world or in our case right across Canada. Now watch the different news rooms as they report the same story. So unless you are right there at the event what is right? who do we believe, because you are going to get a different spin on the same story. My results is view the pictures the best you can as pictures speak 1000 words. filter trough what the reporter says, and at the end of the cast you might have a pretty good cast. Like I say pictures speak 1000 words.

Now we have our public funded projects in the USA it is called Public Broadcasting System or if it is radio it is NPR. In Canada we have CBC Radio and TV. Believe it or not the CBC is a bigger albatross around our neck then PBS or NPR will ever be. In th
e USA people run the stations. In Canada the Governments run the stations. So when we have the provincial and Federal Governments attached to anything all you hear is a huge sucking sound!

Well I think that the USA model is better run as it is still a public support, but the governments are not pouring 100, 000 thousand here and there and every where for a make work project for some government son or daughter to try and get their 15 minutes of fame.

Call me old school, but I like the reporter that you watched at 6pm that had some creditability almost rock star status if you ever run across him in your town because your town was being featured on the 6pm news because you did something special. Not like today where every Tom, Dick, and Harry has a 12mp camera phone with a direct link to You Tube or some other viral site that will give you your 15 minutes of fame because don't kid yourself the big wonders of the world are Jonesing for their next story.

Until next time stay warm....If you see my Brass balls can you return then to 253 fleet st Medicine Hat Alberta......

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Run away Devil Makes It Big In Medicine Hat

Well as the people of Medicine Hat silently mourn the loss off 3 people in a quite neighborhood in their city. The neighbors feel uneasy, the little boy across the street will never get that picture out of his head on that fateful day. Law-enforcement will sleep very uneasy for many years seeing those bludgeoned bodies of the two parents not to mention the poor little brother that had his head pealed off his head like a hard boiled egg. Now the boy friend sits in an Alberta jail getting to relax on the tax payers dollar boasting he set Alberta history for the youngest murder. Now that in my mind is not something to be proud of! Now the 12 year old has skated through the system making the occasional appearance in front of the court she has a 3 step system in front of the parole board asking a graduated visits to banks, malls, exposure to the general population. It sounds good, and they say she is a low risk to offend. It sounds good when Charles Manson won't re-offend either, but he is certainly not up for boy scout of the year award. Now the only thing I can say the run away devil did was pull the wool over the tax payers eyes. She was the puppet master in a very twisted tail. Her over hormone boy toy danced as she pulled his strings. Now her brain has been untwisted like yesterdays laundry. Now she is crazy like a fox walking them through everything they want to here so when she turns 22 she can jump out in the big bad world non the wiser ready to carry on her life as she knows it untouched, unmarred. Do you want her looking after her children in a daycare? Do you want to maybe want her teaching your child as a grade school teacher? I am not sure about you , but I would say no! Anyway it is time to jump on the parole board, your members of parliament, and say we have to say no to the The Run Away Child. It needs a second look and tighten up an already broken system.


Hail hail our premier is stepping down. So what does that mean? Has he out lived his usefulness? Who can we bring in to fill his shoes? So many questions so little time! How much time are we going to before we will be going to the poles now? What will this person need to do. What trait above being smarter then fast Eddy with this person need? Personally a drunk from the stroll could do better then what fast Eddy did. We need a common person, someone that can relate to the people. There is other people with an agenda that they want see meet so do we sleep with enemy and take another chance? Or jump headlong into something like the Alberta Party. Or you can totally regress and vote liberal or NDP. The key here is just get out and vote when the time comes.

Well I think it is time I wander back into the frozen north and enjoy the world as we know it!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Ok With The Snow Already!

You know it is funny when we live in Southern Alberta and we need to get around with dog sled or skidoo. We live in the banana belt where it is warm and balmy where Chinook's are some what of the norm. I have lived in Southern Alberta my 43 years and never in my life have I seen out trans-Atlantic hi-way closed for 2 days leaving drifts of one story in some of the curves of the road. The Mountain passes have been closed on an on going bases because of avalanche concerns. Not to mention the concerns we are going to have when all this snow decides it is going to melt in the spring. Mother nature is really challenging our public works department to get the proper plow job done before we are able to dig our precious 4 wheeled rolling companions out of that snow drift at the end of our street.

So Snow takes a beating on local buildings. 2 flat roofs on two buildings have recently been the demise in our city. It just goes to show you flat roofs are not the answer for today's construction. Thankfully in both cases neither building had people in it so no one was hurt. One was a Teen Club House the other was just storage. It will be determined whether they will rebuild again as it is in flood plain.

Well as the sun sets on the snow banks of the north I the Big Ape of the North better known as the Silver Back of the 49th bid you farewell once more.......

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Welcome to 2011

Well as we dust off ourselves from 2010 and ring 2011 in the Grumpy old Monkey and The Trainer hope you had a great festive season! If you did not well lets look at 2011 and say well lets bring it in with a bang! Hoist a few for me until you feel that it has been great. As usual Santa smiled very graciously upon me and the zoo trainer. We are very lucky at best.

I would like to shift gears a bit and bring up a point that you may or may not know is a soft spot in the old apes heart. I long for the day to dust my pipes off and be back on the old radio. who knows whether this will ever see a dream come true, but I did see a good will story on the news this morning that I felt I just compelled to share with you. There was a homeless guy in New York who was standing on the street corner that said he would work with his voice. When you heard this guy speak he had the golden tones of deep bass of Oak Ridge Boys. You know the guy I mean he just gave shivers down your spine. Well someone did pick him up and they they offered him a job and did I mention he was a recovering addict? So now he is involved with one of the big radio stations which broadcasts both the base ball, and basketball games. So I guess you can say as long as he does not let his stardom go to his head he will be fine. His one wish was make it back to see his Mothers nursing Home and visit her before she passes. So hopefully that can be achieved.

So where are you with your resolutions of the new year? Personally I do not make resolutions if I want to do something I do not wait until January 1st to do it. It is known that 20% of the resolutions are already on the ropes, and by months end 80% are cast aside for another year. I am more of a goal orientated person so if it is broken then you pick yourself up dust yourself off and start again and hope we go a bit farther.

So I have a little tid bit to share with you. I let my hair grow again. Now I am not saying how far this is going, but I would like to not cut it for a length of time along with my goatee. Now I have to take meds to counteract my hair as I allergic to my own hair have been since I was about 18, but I have known as i have got older it is more prominent. So I figure I am taking meds anyway so what is a couple more here and

Well I just wanted to send a shout out out, and scream the top of my lungs I love you! 21 years on January 5th Mellody give into my wild monkey business! Then it became sweet monkey love!!! So it will be 16 years of wedded bliss. Wow we have been together a long time! You know if I would have committed a crime rather then got married I would almost be ready for 25 year release....Just kidding my love you are the best thing that happened to me. I have so married up!!! I am sure Mellody could have done better, I think she is stuck with me now!

Well I think it is time for me to wonder back in to the jungle for another day. Remember here is a great winter tip no matter how thirsty you are it is not mountain dew DON`t eat the yellow snow!

until next time.......